Once Bitten, Twice Shy
by paulacole
Summary: McKayAllina fic, set around The Brotherhood. Rated M for sexual situations.
1. Chapter 1

Once Bitten, Twice Shy 

_Set around The Brotherhood, reworking the timeline a little. McKay/Allina. I don't have a transcript or summary to work from so forgive me if some of the details are wrong._

_And I am in no way affiliated with MGM, the SciFi channel or anyone affiliated with Stargate. If I were, I'd be writing scripts, not fanfiction. I write for my own pleasure and anyway, I'm a poverty-stricken student, it's not worth suing me over._

Chapter One 

Doctor Rodney McKay quite liked Allina, who was helping him find a much-sought after Zero-Point-Module that could hopefully save the city of Atlantis. She looked up to him for his superior intellect and knowledge, which Rodney was used to, but there was something else in her eyes, in her smile, which he definitely was not used to. He didn't understand it, and normally, what he didn't understand, he made an extra effort to learn about. But something that had always stumped Rodney was women, so he decided the best thing to do was ignore it. He had better things to do, anyway. Like find the ZPM.

Allina's advances may have been met with total ignorance by Rodney, but everyone else who had come with him through the gate in search of the ZPM was very much aware of it. John Sheppard made a few jokes about Allina's lack of taste in men, but sent a warning glance at Ford when he tried to do the same. John respected Rodney greatly, which meant he was entitled to make fun of the scientist, but God help anyone else who did it within John's earshot.

After a few hours spent with Allina, Rodney came back to the makeshift camp the Atlantis team had set up and said to no-one in particular he was going to bed. "Who's bed?" John couldn't resist saying, to the smirks of Aidan and Teyla.

Rodney looked at John with a complete lack of comprehension. Had too little sleep or too much testosterone friend his brain, Rodney wondered, because he was speaking gobbledegook.

When it dawned on him that John was referring to Allina's crush on him, he was completely flustered. He wasn't exactly used to having women show attention to him and he didn't know what he was meant to do about it. Even more disconcerting was the fact that Teyla, Aidan and John all seemed so confident about it – and what to do – while he was in the dark.

"Well, what do I do?" he asked.

John looked at his disbelievingly. "You don't know what to do?" It was no secret that Rodney didn't have the best of luck when it came to women – his ongoing crush on Colonel Samantha Carter was an ongoing joke, even on Atlantis – but he'd at least thought the bumbling scientist had gotten laid at least once in his life… or if not, he'd at least be aware of the technical process.

Rodney looked at him scathingly. Of course John would think of something like that. It was on the tip of Rodney's tongue to say that just because he didn't go around having sex with Ancients-in-Exile didn't mean he'd _never_ had sex, but in a rare show of tactfulness, he decided not to say such a thing in front of Teyla, who's crush on John was obvious to everyone on the expedition but him. "I know what to do _eventually_," he huffed. "I mean… what do I do _now_?"

In the end he took John's advice that the best thing to do was sleep on it and do something about it in the morning. In the morning, he woke up quite excited. For some unknown reason, a beautiful, intelligent woman liked him. Which, of course, only made him even more awkward in his attempts to communicate with her. John, Teyla and Aidan watched the spectacle from a safe distance, thinking it was better then anything they might pay to see. But she seemed to appreciate the attention he was paying her.

He managed to get her alone – he was oblivious to the fact that was more John's contrivance then his own – that night. He talked about Atlantis, which she was particularly keen to hear about, and tried to think of a way to manoeuvre the conversation to them.

She did it for him when she asked if it had been hard to leave their home so many light years away – and leave all their loved ones. "Not really," Rodney admitted. "I didn't have anyone really special." He thought about Samantha Carter, and decided she didn't count.

"So… you're free to create personal bonds with… whoever you wish?" Allina asked. The inviting smile she gave following that question was so obvious not even Rodney could miss its meaning.

"Something like that," Rodney said, and he kissed her quickly, before his courage deserted him. She didn't protest so he kissed her again, harder, using his lips and tongue to pry open her mouth. It occurred to him that she was quite an inexperienced kisser – even he could tell that. But she seemed to enjoy it so he didn't stop.

They were already sitting on her bed so it was easy enough for Rodney to wrap one arm around her back so he could lower her onto the bed. She didn't protest about that either, wrapping her arms around his neck for support. After a few minutes of kissing she seemed to get the hang of it, making a small sound of disappointment when he abandoned her mouth, her disappointment forgotten when he began trailing kisses along her neck. She arched her neck to give him easier access, whimpering in delight as his lips brushed her skin. "I thought you'd never do this," she admitted.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly. "I'm not too good with women." He pulled at her shirt so it came free from her pants and slipped his hand inside, feeling the smooth, soft skin of her stomach. Those little noises she made were the biggest turn-on, like everything he did was something completely new. You'd think she'd never done this before.

They continued to kiss, and the more they did, the more she got into it until what they were doing was more like making out. Their legs were tangled together, his shirt was mostly undone and hers had been pulled up to just below her breasts – which she hadn't minded him feeling up, by the little sound she'd made when he did and the way she'd arched her back, pressing herself against him. He had no idea how far to take things until she made it easier by sliding her hand down his chest, his abdomen to rest on his crotch. Instant reaction. And it couldn't have been an accident. Although her technique was a little amateurish, it reminded him of his awkward fumblings when he was seventeen with a girl who was at least as inexperienced as he had been…

A thought occurred to him. "Allina," he said in a controlled voice. "Have you ever done this before?"

"Done what before?"

"This," he said vaguely, gesturing to them lying in bed together. "Been with a man."

"No," she said honestly. She saw the look of panic that flashed through his eyes and asked, "is that wrong?"

He jumped up. Oh, God, this was something he had never done before and he wasn't sure he wanted to. For one brief moment he considered asking John's advice, who he was sure had much experience in such things, then decided against it. He would never hear the end of it if he did. "In my culture it is," he said. Oh, Jesus Christ, this was supposed to be every guy's fantasy, the 'clean' woman begging to be broken in, but he did not want the responsibility of deflowering her. "Oh, Christ, you're a virgin," he babbled almost incoherently. "Oh Christ, oh Christ…" he was nearly hyperventilating.

Tears started in her eyes. For reasons she couldn't fathom, Rodney had completely switched off her and now treating he like she was a disease. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't think it would matter. I didn't mean to offend you."

She'd completely misunderstood him, he realised. "Oh, God, no," he said. "You haven't done anything wrong. I just don't want to hurt you."

He really hoped he wouldn't have to explain the technical side of that, but she seemed to understand what he was getting at. "It's OK," she said. "I want to." She lowered her head to stare at the ground. "It feels right with you. But if you don't want to…"

Immediately he was at her side. "Of course I want to," he said. "It's just that I've never done this before," he babbled, aware that he was making an ass of himself. For the first time since he'd known the man, he actually wished he was John Sheppard. He was sure John would know what to do. John always knew what to do when it came to women.

Allina resolved his problem for him by kissing him. He kissed her back, and encouraged by his response, she slid her hand down to his groin again. If she was awkward, she was also eager and he quickly became aroused. "You sure you wanna do this?" he asked.

She nodded and that was it for his self-control. He eased her out of her pants so he could access her more freely and within a few minutes he had her whimpering in delight. This sexual awakening stuff was actually kind of cool, Rodney thought as he caused her to arch her back and cry out his name. The noise caused a thought to filter through his mind.

"Allina," he whispered urgently. "When will everyone will getting back?"

She smiled up at him. She was completely smitten with him but she was very much aware of his inability to read people. "Not for a while, I think," she said knowingly. "I think your friend John will take care of that." He had given Allina a knowing look after he contrived to give her time alone with Rodney. She was confident he would make sure they weren't interrupted.

Rodney blushed. He didn't like the idea of John knowing exactly what he was up to – but still, it made things convenient. He focused his attention completely on Allina, kissing her and helping her out of her top as she returned the favour, helping him out of his pants and shirt so they were both naked. "Allina," he said, before he lost control completely when faced by her breathtaking nakedness, "you sure you want to do this? Because I can stop now if you want but I don't know about later."

She leaned up to kiss him, and spread her legs to give him easier access. "Rodney," she said in a low, urgent voice. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you…"

He penetrated her slightly, planning to take it slowly. If anyone could have seen him now, they would have been completely gobsmacked to see him so hypersensitive to the pain he was causing someone else. He groaned at the feel of her, and he suddenly remembered how long it had been since he had gotten laid. She was so tight and wet and felt wonderful – forgetting his resolve to go slow, he thrust hard into her.

She cried out in pain from the sudden assault and he realised what he'd done. "Oh, God," he whispered in horror. At least she hadn't bled. He had a feeling he would completely freak out if she had, and the last thing he needed was to lose further control of the situation. "Do you want me to stop?" Oh, God, she probably hated him. He bet John wouldn't have made a hash of things like he had done.

She shook her head, although it was hard to believe her when her face was scrunched up in pain. "No, keep going," she said.

It was easily the most unromantic thing Rodney had ever been told – in bed at least – and it wasn't the greatest encouragement to finishing the job. "You don't sound very convincing," he said. He could stop if he had to, it would be hard, but not as hard as living with himself if he went through with this when she didn't want to.

She smiled at him reassuringly, the pain being wiped from her face when she did. God, he loved her smile. "I want you to," she told him. "Just… don't do that again."

As if he was ever going do that again, at least this time around! He began thrusting again, taking it as slow as he could manage given every time he looked down at the exquisite body beneath him he wanted to screw her brains out as hard and fast as he could. He had never been with a virgin before and he never wanted to be again but God it felt good, feeling her open up to him and knowing there was no man who had come before him… she gave small moans of pain for the first three thrusts, then went quiet, silently enduring the discomfort…

He wasn't having any of that. He reached down to feel her as he thrust, matching his rhythm as he stroked her. He was rewarded when her eyes opened widely and she began to moan in pleasure. "Good girl," he whispered, the knot in his stomach dissipating as it became very clear that she was starting to orgasm. Rodney McKay had never left a woman unsatisfied yet – he was too arrogant to give women an opportunity to badmouth his sexual prowess and too much of a scientist to not know his way around the bedroom, after having related sex to a science – and he wasn't about to start now.

Her moans became louder, and she began crying out his name. While it was an extreme boost to his ego to have a woman shaking uncontrollably in his arms, screaming his name as she climaxed, he would never live it down if John heard her. He clamped his mouth down on hers in a hot, passionate kiss, and continued kissing her until he felt her entire body shudder in orgasm. Only then did he let himself go, coming hard inside her. "Ohgodohgodohgod," he whispered, and it would have amused everyone who heard him to be a self- and loudly-proclaimed atheist calling out to any deity at that point.

He collapsed on top of Allina, rolling them on their sides so his body weight wasn't crushing her. He buried his neck in her shoulder. "That was fantastic," he panted.

She curled up against him and he was quick to tighten his hold on her. Oh God, he never wanted to let her go. He wanted to stay in her bed forever. Atlantis could fend for itself. He knew his reaction wasn't just from not having sex in a while – just how long, he refused to tell anyone. He knew it was _her_.

"I knew it would be good with you," she said shyly.

He kissed her. "How did you know that?" he asked, unable to stop himself from pursuing a course that would no doubt fuel his ego.

She smiled. "I just knew," she said.

They lay tangled up in bed together for a while before it became very apparent that the heat they'd generated had made the room very hot and stuffy. Allina suggested they go out to the lake to cool off. At that point, he would have agreed to anything she'd said. They got dressed and, lacing his fingers through hers he followed her down to the lake.

It was a balmy night and, unabashed at him seeing her naked – it was a little too late for that – she stripped off her clothes and waded into the water. From the shore, he watched her sleek, naked body disappear into the water. She…was…stunning.

She turned around to face him, giving him the opportunity to take in the front of her body. "Rodney," she called. "Come in, it's warm."

He didn't need any more encouragement. He stripped off her own clothes and joined her in the lake, which was warm. It was cleansing, although he was a little sorry to lose the feel of her off him skin. He compensated for that by drawing her into his arms, kissing her lips and then nuzzling her neck. She pressed her body against his tightly and tentatively began running her fingers down his back, caressing his ass then moving her hands up his back to run her fingers through his hair. For someone who had been a virgin an hour ago, she was learning quickly… very quickly, he realised, when one hand slid downwards with more confidence then before, gripping him with just the right pressure and stroking him hard.

He groaned into her mouth. This was too good. He was sure he was going to wake up from the most exquisite wet dream he'd ever had. Although he'd never had a dream where touch was so real or when he'd climaxed so hard… "You want it again, sweetheart?" he asked her.

She didn't say anything, but nodded. He led her out of the water onto the shore and pulled her down onto the sand. He began to kiss her, exploring her body, touching her until she was begging to be taken. "It won't hurt as much this time," he promised as he positioned himself on top of her.

"If it will be like last time I won't mind…" she said, a sly smile on her face. Laughing, he kissed her. God, he couldn't believe how he felt about this woman ; he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this way. If he didn't know any better, he'd think he was in love.

He began thrusting, moaning at the sensation of being inside her. He was absolutely positive it had never been like this before. "All-_i_-na," he moaned, and he _knew_ it had never been like this before.

It took longer then the first time, which was to be expected. He managed to bring her to orgasm twice, something he would have been exceedingly proud of had he been in any mind to think about it. Since there was no-one around to hear her, he let her scream as loud as she wanted. There was something enormously gratifying to the ego to have a beautiful woman wrapped around you and screaming you name while you were making love to her. "Allina!" he gasped as he came hard again. "Oh, god," he whispered, burying his head in her neck. She locked her legs around his waist to keep him inside her. "Oh, God, I think I'm falling in love with you," he blurted out as he struggled to get his breathing under control.

She ran her fingers through his damp hair. "What does that mean?" she asked.

He lifted his head to look into her eyes, smiling adoringly down at her. "It means I like you a lot," he said. He was acting like a fool and he didn't care. His brain was already racing, contriving ways to get Allina to come to Atlantis – or him come to her.

She wriggled in pleasure at his words. "I thought you only came for the device," she said.

He kissed her. "I would never use you like that," he said quietly, sincerely. "I, uh… I want to see you again. I don't know how I'll work it but I want to see you again." He had visions of taking Allina back to Atlantis with them and setting her up in his quarters but he doubted she'd be willing to leave her people and besides, if he knew he had this beautiful women in his bedroom waiting for him, he'd never get anything done. Or, for that matter, if he were to include her in his work… he smiled at the thought of hot sex in his office.

"What are you smiling at?" Allina asked.

He immediately focused his attention on her. "Nothing," he said. At least, nothing she needed to be concerned about now. He'd talk to Elizabeth, see if something could be worked out – something _had _to be worked out.

After a few minutes of lying together on the sand, Rodney reluctantly got off her. At least the lake wasn't as far this time to wash off. Holding hands, they walked back to the base, talking about everything in soft, intimate voices. Rodney didn't have much experience in acting like a boyfriend, but he was learning quickly.

"Oh, shit," he realised suddenly, a knot forming in his stomach. "I didn't use a condom." They all carried them in their packs for this precise reason, but Rodney had been too distracted for the last hour and a half to think about it.

"A what?" Allina asked.

"Never mind," he said, realising he'd spoken out loud. There was no help for it now. "I don't suppose you guys use any kind of birth control?" he asked hopefully.

She looked at him blankly. "I don't understand," she said. "Our population is low already." Rodney cringed. Of course a civilisation that was being constantly culled would be more concerned with population growth then population control. Stupid, stupid Rodney.

"Is something wrong?" Allina asked Rodney. She was aware that in some matters, their cultures had very different values and she was worried she had somehow offended him again.

He wrapped one arm around her to draw her close to him. "Nothing's wrong," he murmured, kissing the top of her head. "I can sort it out myself." She took that at face value and didn't say anything more about it.

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The next day, Rodney went to face John who was just itching to know the details of his night with Allina. "I need a GDO," Rodney blurted out.

Like John just handed out those things to anyone who asked. He immediately asked when Rodney wanted it for. "Allina," he said vaguely.

Rodney McKay liked to think he was good at hiding his emotions, but John could read him like a book. The man had absolutely no finesse when it came to talking about sex, he was like a man – or, rather, a boy – half his age when it came to that. If he simply wanted a way for Allina to contact him in general terms, he would have just come out and said it – or at least thought to contrive an excuse about research. But the way he was squirming made it obvious there was one specific thing he wanted her to have the GDO for.

"You didn't use a condom, did you?" John asked. Rodney just stood there, staring at the ground, squirming. "Rodney!" John said incredulously, his anger somewhat tempered by the amusement he felt at the thought the fumbling scientist had finally gotten laid. "That's _why_ we carry them!"

"I know," Rodney said, still looking at the ground. "I wasn't thinking… now will you please give me the GDO?"

"Elizabeth is going to have your ass over this," John pointed out. "She won't let you go offworld for a _long_ time."

"I know, that's why I need toe GDO. If I can't leave Atlantis I need for her to be able to contact me."

John was surprised to hear real concern in Rodney's voice, beyond the simple obligation to support her if she got pregnant. He couldn't be falling in love with her – could he? At any rate, the man was desperate for a GDO, and John thought he could use this to his advantage. "I'll give you the GDO," he said slyly, "if you give me the details of what happened last night."

Rodney looked at him in horror. Trust John to have his nose in everyone's business. "No way," he said.

"No details, no GDO," he said. He was relying on Rodney being too blinded by love to realise that if he just explained the situation to Elizabeth, she might ground him, but she'd make sure Allina was OK. Ever the diplomat, Elizabeth was no more keen for Atlantis to develop a reputation for being home to obligation-ditching fathers then she had for Atlantis being the arms dealer of the Pegasus Galaxy.

"OK…fine," Rodney said grumpily. For the next ten minutes, John grilled him, but it was like pulling teeth. He really didn't want to give up the information, which surprised John. He would have thought that Rodney would go blabbing every detail to everyone who could hear, like he always did. Maybe he really cared about Allina, although it was unlikely – Rodney McKay didn't care about anyone but Rodney McKay.

He handed over the GDO and Rodney scurried off. He found Allina with Teyla, who discreetly made her exit when Rodney appeared. "Hey," he said shyly, his eyes taking her in hungrily. It was all he could do to stop himself from taking her here and now but he reminded himself they had a job to do.

She smiled back at him, just as shyly. "Hello," she said. Rodney had made love to her twice last night, but she couldn't help but wonder if the light of the morning would remind him he had a job to do, and that Allina, pleasant distraction as she had been, was only good for helping him find the piece to the puzzle.

He walked over to her and placed his hand over her arm. "I've been thinking about you," he said. Before he lost his nerve, he kissed her quickly on the lips. Without Allina encouraging him like she had last night, he agonised over every touch, wondering if it was appropriate.

She kissed him back. "I've been thinking about you," she said. Then she kissed him passionately, drawing him close to her, hand sliding down to his crotch.

Reluctantly he pushed her away. "We don't have time," he reminded her.

"We can be quick."

He smiled indulgently. She clearly knew nothing about a man's physiology. "I can't be quick," he said, "and anyway, I wanna take my time with you." He trailled his fingers down her arm intimately. "Tonight," he whispered.

If he'd been any less infatuated with her, he would have seen the pained look that flashed across her eyes. She had a strong suspicion there wouldn't be a 'tonight'. But she smiled and said, "Tonight."

"I have something for you," he said, revealing the GDO. "You'll be able to come to Atlantis with it, if the shield is up then you'll be killed and… I don't want that." He took her hands in his and nervously began playing with her fingers. "Last night… it was fantastic but I should have protected myself… um, you from falling pregnant. I know it's not your way but it's ours and… well, if you do become pregnant, I want you to tell me, I want you to come to Atlantis."

She nodded. "You want me to come to Atlantis… if I'm carrying your child?"

"I want you to come to Atlantis whenever you want," he admitted. "I don't know how this is gonna work Allina, but I want to see you again. I don't want this to be it."

She threw herself into his arms. "I thought you'd forget about me once you went back," she admitted.

He wrapped his arms around her tightly. Oh, how badly he wanted to take her back to Atlantis right now. "I could never forget about you," he murmured soothingly. "I want you to come and live with me, but I know you don't want to leave your people. But – the offer's there if you ever want to take it."

She nodded, and withdrew from him. There was something in her eyes, a message, but he couldn't read her, he was so bad at reading people. "Let's go," she said.

Of course, it didn't work out quite like that. Firstly, Koyla – who Rodney had assumed was dead – turned up and forced him and Allina at gunpoint to locate the position of the ZPM. The Genii couldn't use it themselves, of course, but they didn't want Atlantis to have it. It was a very spiteful thing to do, but then, then Genii were known for their spite. Rodney had reluctantly gone along with Koyla – it wasn't like he had much of a choice, given there were half a dozen guns being waved in his face – all the while his heart caught in his throat as he worried for Allina. He wasn't used to caring about another person and it was as unnerving as it was exhilarating. He thought he'd have to make love to her at least twice tonight before he'd feel she was safe in his arms.

Fortunately John had come up with a plan that involved letting Rodney get blinded by a flash-bang because he couldn't warn the scientist. Rodney was sure John did it deliberately because Rodney wouldn't spill the details of his fantastic night with Allina.

With Koyla and the Genii taken care of, they were free to take off with the ZPM – until Allina stepped it. It turned out she was a member of the newly recreated Brotherhood, and she and her brethren had decided that the humans from Earth were not the true inheritors of Atlantis and they were going to keep the ZPM until the Ancients came to collect it.

Rodney was absolutely gutted when she pulled the power source from his hands. There was no convincing her that Atlantis needed it and it would be absolutely no good to anyone else. But she was adamant, and the barrel of a gun spoke much louder then words.

He looked her in the eye, and he saw her determination to have the ZPM. His heart hardened against her. He didn't see how much in was paining her to hurt him, only that she would do whatever it took to keep the ZPM with the Brotherhood.

She had to have been planning this. She had to have known last night _when he was making love to her and telling her he was falling in love with her_ she was going to do this. And she had let him do it. She had schemed to have him let his guard down and take advantage of him when he was vulnerable. She had gotten him to fall in love with her so she could use him! And here was him, worrying she might think _he_ had used _her_ to get the PM. He'd been a fool. _This_ was why he didn't get involved with women. They were scheming bitches.

He pushed the ZPM hard against her chest, missing the sorrow in her eyes that he was clearly hurting over her betrayal. "I hope the wraith get you all," he said childishly, his anger burning at his stupidity.

Allina quivered slightly under his burning gaze. She was sorry it had come to this but she didn't think Rodney would ever believe that. "This has nothing to do with last night," she said helplessly.

"Yeah?" he asked snarkily, his poisonous glare making it clear he didn't believe her. "You know, if you wanted the damn thing that badly, you didn't have to trade your virginity for it. I would have trusted you anyway." And with that, he stormed off, determined that no-one would see the tears forming in his eyes at Allina's betrayal. He didn't know how much she had come to mean to him in such a short amount of time until now. Well, that didn't matter anymore, because she was a lying, using bitch. As far as he was concerned, she could go to hell.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

It was hard to believe that getting laid actually made Rodney snarkier, but it did. For two days on returning to Atlantis – without the ZPM – he refused to come out of his room until Elizabeth, fed up, barged in.

It was quite obvious he'd been crying but, ever the diplomat, she decided not to mention it. She didn't know much of the details, only that he'd been with some woman – Allina, John said her name was – who turned out to be part of a secret group that took the ZPM at gunpoint, to be held until an Ancient came to collect it. Elizabeth was cut up about the loss of the ZPM – her first thought had been to contact Cheya and see if she'd collect it for them, she seemed awfully fond of John – and she'd expected Rodney to be fuming, but not crying. Which meant it had to be something else.

"You liked this woman," Elizabeth noted. She suspected was the closest thing she would ever see Rodney McKay being broken hearted – he tended to commit himself to his computer and other machines that couldn't hurt him – and she couldn't help but be interested.

"She can rot in hell," Rodney said, not very convincingly. He muttered a few words under his breath, 'traitor' and 'whore' being two that Elizabeth picked up. Was it possible Rodney was more cut up about her betrayal then the loss of the ZPM? If so, there was hope for him yet, although she'd doubt that he'd appreciate it being known he was holed up in his room, crying over a woman.

"Why don't you come out," Elizabeth suggested. "Since we don't have a ZPM we really need your help with the defences." She thought she saw a smile from Rodney ; the quickest way to cheer him up was to tell him he was needed.

"I'll be out in a little while," he said, and Elizabeth knew he needed time to clean himself up. His eyes were bloodshot and his face was puffy. Personally, she thought seeing him in such a state would earn him a few humanity points in the collective eyes of Atlantis, but she knew he wouldn't see it that way.

"… I don't know many of the details," John admitted when Elizabeth pressed him for what he knew. "Only that they slept together and I only know that because he – oh, shit," he ejaculated when he remembered the GDO thing. "Uh, it's probably not a good idea to say anything to Rodney now but he didn't use a condom so I gave him a GDO to give to her – I figured it was the better of two evils. We don't want to be known as the city of responsibility-evading fathers."

She nodded curtly. Her sympathy for Rodney was lessened somewhat by the knowledge he'd been irresponsible – it couldn't possibly have been drilled in more that that was why they carried condoms with them – but it was hard to be angry at someone who was so cut up. She made a mental not to have Carson check him out later ; it wasn't something she liked to think about, but any disease these people might have had to be considered.

In the meantime, the most important thing for Atlantis was to get Rodney out of his funk. That was far easier said then done. Over the next few weeks, Elizabeth began to wonder what exactly had transpired between Rodney and Allina, beyond just sex. John said that, for all his awkwardness, he seemed to really care about her – could he have been falling in love with her? _Poor Rodney_, she thought more then once. He hardly let anyone see his softer side, and when he did, he had it rudely discarded. No wonder he was even more snarky then ever.

But as the weeks went by, he gradually got over it – he never returned to his pre-Allina self, which meant he was always a little snarkier then usual, but it was an improvement on the Rodney who'd sulked and yelled for days on end. At least, on the surface he seemed to get over her. A few times Elizabeth had passed his room when he'd left the door open a little to catch a glimpse of him sitting on his bed, staring morosely out into space. Elizabeth wished there was something she could do about it.

It wasn't all bad news – her idea to plead their case to Cheya had turned out to be quite a good one. She'd sent John to broker some kind of understanding – he seemed to have a particularly close relationship with the Ancient-in-Exile – and she'd agreed to speak to the Brotherhood so long as they were brought to her. The end result had been the Brotherhood had agreed to hand over the ZPM. So now they had a way of powering the shields, or dialling back to Earth if it came to that.

John had noted Allina looked particularly relieved to have a reason to had over the ZPM. He'd known she wasn't the manipulative tramp Rodney was making her out to be, but it was still a surprise to see her express relief to be able to hand it over – and concern for Rodney.

"You really hurt him," John said, deciding to omit everything he'd said about her in the last few weeks. "I think he was falling in love with you, and he's convinced you used him to find the ZPM."

Allina flushed. "I didn't use him," she insisted in a quiet, sincere voice. "What happened between us – that was real." She blushed a deep shade of red as she remembered just how real it had been.

John looked at her with a little amusement. This was a really pathetic situation, two grown adults pining for each other, and he told Rodney so when he got back to Atlantis. "She's really sorry about the way things turned out," he said. "And look, we got the ZPM after all, so no harm done?"

Even to John's ears, that was a lame argument. It wasn't about whether they got the ZPM or not – it was the fact Allina wouldn't give it to them. Although it did help that they'd gotten the power source in the end, but it didn't do anything to soften his feelings towards Allina. She was a manipulative tramp who had used him just to get hold of the ZPM. He hated her – at least, that's what he told himself. Very few people believed him. It was hard to believe you hated a person when you spent all day moping about them.

About six weeks after Rodney and Allina had last seen each other, an alert came through the computers that a remote device was being activated offworld. John recognised it as the way he'd given Rodney to give to Allina. Just to make sure it wasn't someone – say, Koyla – having got hold of the device John ordered the security to be on guard, which gave Allina quite a fright when she came through the gate. She was already apprehensive about coming to Atlantis, and being greeted by half a dozen armed men ready to shoot only increased her apprehensions.

"Stand down!" John ordered, and the men obediently stood withdrew their weapons. John called for Elizabeth. "This is Allina," he introduced the intimidated-looking woman to the leader of Atlantis. "This is Doctor Elizabeth Weir, the woman in charge."

"Doctor… like Rodney?" Allina asked.

Elizabeth smiled. "Kind of," she said. "I'm not nearly as smart as him, though." She had known Allina for all of thirty seconds but she could already seen what Rodney liked about her. She had a warmth to her, and it didn't hurt that she was attractive or that she seemed to harbour feelings for Rodney. "What brings you to Atlantis?" she asked Allina.

"I need to see Rodney," Allina said simply.

"Why?" Elizabeth asked directly. She was wary about letting Allina see Rodney when he was just starting to settle down.

Allina broke eye contact with Elizabeth. "I don't want to say," she said. "But I think he'll want to see me."

Elizabeth had a strong feeling what it was about, and an equally strong feeling that Rodney would indeed want to here it – even if he claimed he didn't want to see her. "I'll take you to him," she said after a moment's deliberation. She walked Allina to Rodney's room. "Do you want me to stay out here?" she asked, suddenly sympathetic to the young woman in front of her who was about to face the lion's den – although a lion's den would probably be preferable to Rodney McKay in a bad mood.

Allina shook her head. "No thankyou," she said in a small voice. She flashed a small smile to Elizabeth and pushed the button to open the doors.

"Liz, I'm busy," Rodney said without looking up. The truth was he'd been staring at the same piece of paper for the last twenty minutes, trying to focus. There were still times, like now, when he couldn't think of anything but Allina – how good it had felt being with her, how right, how he'd been half-convinced he was falling in love with her – and how she betrayed him.

"It's Allina," Allina said in a small voice. Rodney looked up and the expression on his face was first one of surprise, then anger.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded in a cold voice.

"You gave me the device – so I could get to Atlantis – you said if I wanted to see you –" Allina faltered in the wake of Rodney's cold, angry blue-grey eyes.

"I thought you were smart enough to realise that offer was void after you betrayed me," he said, his voice full of angry, bitter sarcasm. "Give it back and fuck off."

She didn't know what his words meant exactly, but she did know she wasn't welcome. He'd had six week to brood about her 'betrayal', and he wasn't about to forgive her anytime soon. She wished she had believed him when he'd said they were descendants of the Ancients – well, some of them anyway – instead of it taking Cheya to convince them. Now she didn't know if there was any way she could convince him that she hadn't used him.

"You said – you said –" she stumbled over her words. Why couldn't he look a little more sympathetic, a little more patient, rather then that hateful scowl? John had told her that Rodney could get really mean when he wanted to, and she hadn't believed him. Now she believed.

He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at her impatiently. He got a childish, spiteful feeling of satisfaction that she was floundering in front of him. Any aggro he could put her through, she deserved it. "I said _what_?" he prompted coolly. He wished she would go away before he lost his head and did something he'd regret, like kissing her.

"You said – to come to Atlantis – if – I – was… carrying your child," she finally finished in a whisper he could barely hear.

Rodney _wished_ he hadn't heard her so he could pretend she'd said something else. He rocked back in his chair. "You're pregnant," he said flatly. This was the worst news he'd had in a while, ever since he'd heard about the Wraith threat. Christ, it could be _anyone's_ baby. In his mind she had become more and more of a tramp as the weeks went by.

She nodded. "Yes." She didn't like the way he was looking at her, so _flat_. For nearly a minute he didn't say anything, so she said, "Rodney, I said –"

He waved her away. "I heard what you said," he said irritably. "I was thinking what to do about it." He frowned, then he stood up. "Come with me, I'll take care of it," he said, and he began leading her towards the infirmary. Although his hand was firmly gripping her bicep, propelling her forward, she was thoroughly intimidated by now and ended up half a step behind him.

"CARSON!" he yelled when they got to the infirmary, the Scottish doctor came running, a little skittish to hear that Rodney was in one of his 'moods'. Probably after something to keep him awake or help him sleep. "Carson, can you do an abortion?" he asked bluntly.

The doctor stared at Rodney for a few seconds. Needless to say, it wasn't a common request, let alone from Rodney. "Aye, I can, but I'd have to know more about the individual circumstances to –" he began.

"I don't care about that," Rodney said gruffly. "I only wanted to know if you could do an abortion."

Carson looked suspiciously at Rodney. He had a very bad feeling about this. "I can…" he said cautiously.

"Fine. Here, do it," Rodney said, blunt and callous even by his standards and he thrust Allina in between him and Carson.

The poor girl looked thoroughly frightened and miserable, Carson thought, which was really no wonder, if this was the legendary Allina that had caused Rodney's ongoing bad mood. Well, there was only so much bullying Rodney could get away with before other people's basic human kindness stepped in. He looked Rodney square in the eye and said, "I need to talk to her… alone," he said.

Rodney scowled. Was Carson getting an attack of conscience or something? "Fine," he said, letting go of Allina and walking off. Carson was aghast as how callously he was treating her. Rodney was by nature an arrogant, insensitive man, but this was way beyond even his standards. If he wasn't so outraged by how callously Rodney was treating Allina, he would have felt sorry for the scientist. It was obvious to anyone Allina had hurt him deeply to have him acting the way he was.

He smiled kindly at Allina. "Come with me," he directed her, leading her into the privacy of his office. As euphemistically as he could, he described the procedure to Allina, who looked more and more horrified as he went on. Birth control on her planet was unheard of – their concern was population growth, not population control – and to use such an barbaric method… "Rodney didn't explain any of this do you?" Carson asked, although it was obvious the scientist had done no such thing.

Allina shook her head. "He said he'd take care of it," she recalled Rodney's words.

A soft grown of utter disgust escaped from Carson's throat. He was used to Rodney being demanding and insensitive, of being completely oblivious to the needs of the world around him – especially when they clashed with his own wants – but this was too far, even for him. He called for Elizabeth through the phone system Rodney had installed – at least the man was good for something. How could someone be so brilliant when it came to technically matters be so stupid when it came to human ones? _There's the answer_, Carson thought grimly. He wondered what Allina had ever seen in Rodney in the first place.

After a few minutes Elizabeth appeared in the infirmary, and Carson filled her in, his voice hushed. Elizabeth was almost as horrified by the sheer insensitivity Rodney had shown to the situation as Carson had been. But Carson hadn't been aware of Rodney's moping the way Elizabeth had been – she knew what had caused him to act so thoughtlessly, even if she didn't agree with his behaviour.

By this point, Allina was pretty upset, half-convinced her baby was going to be killed. Elizabeth spoke to the intimidated young woman. "No-one is going to make you do anything you don't want," she reassured Allina. "I assure you, not even Rodney can override our civil liberties," she added wryly. "I'm going to get Carson to give you something that will help you sleep." Carson had explained their physiology was almost identical – which was how she'd gotten pregnant in the first place – so a light sedative shouldn't do her much harm.

After Allina had been taken care of, she went to find Rodney. That was easy enough – he was hiding in his office. The little coward had dumped Allina onto Carson and bolted. "You have gone too far this time, Rodney," she growled when she saw the scientist.

Rodney was immediately on the defensive. "I wasn't going to make her do anything," he said.

"Right, you were just banking on the fact she didn't know what abortion is," Elizabeth retorted. "That was incredibly low. You're just lucky Carson thought to intervene because we could have had a major incident on our hands. My God, Rodney, these people have no concept of abortion, even you should know that." She could just imagine how Allina's people would have felt if she'd left for Atlantis pregnant and come back not pregnant, thanks to those strange newcomers who focused more on birth control then population growth.

"Hey, I don't even know if it's mine," Rodney said. In his mind Allina had become a sex-crazed whore who would sleep with anyone – or anything – to get what she wanted.

Elizabeth stared at him. No wonder Rodney had no luck with women, he seemed half-convinced they were all whores. Her heart softened towards him. He was too proud to admit it, of course, but she guessed it was more like Allina had broken his heart and he was covering it up with hostility. "She doesn't seem the type to be promiscuous," Elizabeth said diplomatically.

"You only just met her. She's a two-faced bitch," Rodney countered. Briefly he remembered the look on her face when he'd taken her for the first time. No matter how much he tried to pretend she was a slut, he couldn't deny that had been her first time. She had given herself to him, she had seemed fond of him, she hadn't seemed to mind when he'd hurt her… why had she acted like that, why had she drawn him in so deeply, when she was going to stab him in the back? _Bitch. Slut. Whore_.

Elizabeth sighed. She was torn between Allina's obvious distress and Rodney's obvious heartbreak. Although she wouldn't admit it openly, she knew Rodney had a point – no-one could say for sure that Rodney was the father. Her gut told her he was but her gut didn't count for much in this situation. "I'll see if she'll agree to have a paternity test done," Elizabeth offered.

"You do that, then you'll see what a slut she is," Rodney snarled.

Elizabeth gave Rodney her best I'm-in-charge glare ; Rodney immediately looked contrite. "In the meantime, she _is_ pregnant, and as such, I would appreciate it if you curtailed your efforts to antagonise her," she said in a gross understatement.

Rodney scowled. "Is that it?" he asked.

"For the moment," Elizabeth said, then she tacked on, "and if I hear you've made any more attempts to terminate Allina's pregnancy…" She didn't have to finish her sentence ; Rodney got the gist of her sentiment. Just to make sure, she made a mental note to tell Allina not to trust anything Rodney said regarding her pregnancy. She didn't really think Rodney would try something after being warned, but then, he seemed awfully bitter and not at all happy to see Allina.

Elizabeth spoke to Allina when she woke up. Carson felt terrible for the way Rodney had treated her and was fussing over her, bringing her food and blankets and keeping her company until her spirits rose a little. But just a little. She was devastated by the way Rodney had treated her – did he hate her so much that he didn't want their baby, that he would resort to trying to trick her to terminate it? The irony was not lost of Elizabeth.

"He isn't entirely convinced he's the father," Elizabeth said diplomatically, omitting the unkinder words Rodney had had to say about Allina.

She had hoped she wouldn't have to explain herself in more detail, and when she saw the shocked, indignant look on Allina's face she knew the other woman had understood. "I haven't been with anyone but Rodney," she said, a little indignantly, a little sadly. Then she added, "ever."

Elizabeth looked at her in surprise. "You were a _virgin_?" she asked incredulously. "Did he know that?"

Allina nodded. "He was… very sweet," she said. "He didn't want to hurt me." Tears welled in her eyes. "He's so angry… he's so different," she said. She had expected him to still be a little angry, but, after all, they had gotten the ZPM in the end and he had seemed genuinely concerned that she might become pregnant. She got lost in herself as she recalled the way he had touched her – how could you touch someone like that and remain so angry at them for six weeks? She wondered if Rodney had meant anything he'd said.

"Rodney is… a very proud man," Elizabeth said diplomatically. "He saw it as his responsibility to find a power source. He felt like he let everyone down." That Cheya had, through John, agreed to see the Brotherhood, had only succeeded in making Rodney feel worse about himself – and he'd manifested his feelings but blaming Allina.

"But you got it!" Allina pointed out tearfully.

Elizabeth smiled sadly. "I wish he would see it like that," she said. "His pride is quite wounded, and he's a proud man, Allina. I think he'll come around eventually but he'll need time. Now, there's something I need to talk to you about. Carson can run a paternity test – um, to match the DNA – it's technology that will be able to prove if Rodney is the father of your child or not. If he is, he'll come around quickly, if nothing else then he won't just abandon his child." She had cleaned enough information about his own childhood to know he couldn't put someone else through that. "So I need you to be honest with me so there'll be no shocks: are you positive Rodney is the father of your child?"

"You mean has there been anyone else?" Allina asked, a little haughtily. She resented the well-meaning but intrusive questions of a woman who clearly didn't know her, because if she did, she wouldn't be asking Allina such questions.

Elizabeth nodded, regretting she had to ask such a question but it was only something Carson would ask himself, and she felt Allina would feel a little more comfortable to have it come from another woman.

"No," she said, even more haughtily. Elizabeth knew she had just taken two steps backward with the woman to have asked such a question but really, there was no help for it. "You can tell Rodney that, since he won't speak to _me_."

She did tell Rodney that, as best as she could. But he had spun his own opinions so tightly around his reality that there was no dislodging it. Elizabeth left after half an hour of pointless arguing, hoping that the black-and-white evidence of his paternity would make him come around.

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Allina was deemed not much of a security threat and allowed to wander Atlantis for short periods of time, so long as she didn't disturb anything and reported straight back to the infirmary if she felt any discomfort whatsoever. Carson was concerned that if the child _was_ Rodney's, the slight difference in their physiology – slight enough to make impregnation possible, but there nonetheless – would make pregnancy more difficult then for a normal earth-human pregnancy, and he wanted her to stay in Atlantis for at least the duration of the pregnancy. But her co-operation on that matter was entirely up to her, so Carson had decided it was best to give her some freedom – but only so long as she came back as soon as something appeared to be wrong.

Against her better judgement, she made her way to Rodney's office. Though his indifference towards her yesterday had hurt her deeply, she couldn't quite believe he could cast her and their baby off like he had, not after the things he had said. He had given her the means to get to Atlantis without being killed, surely he must care about her a little! Surely a bad judgement she had made didn't cancel that out entirely!

She paused in the doorway to look at him. He was completely lost in his work, his brow deeply furrowed as he tried to work something out. That he was concerned for the welfare of Atlantis was written all over his face – no wonder he had been so upset over the loss of the ZPM. She cleared her throat tentatively to alert him of her presence.

He looked up, and the expression of his face immediately went from one of deep concentration to one of supreme irritation and resentment. Irritation that he was being interrupted by anyone but Elizabeth, who appreciated that 'don't interrupt me for anything short of an imminent threat' meant exactly that, and resentment that Allina should be the cause of that irritation. She always seemed to be around to remind him of what a two-faced bitch she was – and what a fool he had been. _That's what a man gets for thinking with his dick_, her told himself bitterly as he looked into the eyes that had captivated him so deeply, and were threatening to again…

"What do you want?" he asked shortly.

Allina blanched at the coldness in his voice. She could never quite accept that this was the same Rodney who had made love to her with such tenderness and sensitivity. "I wanted to… see how you were," she said in a small voice, thinking that maybe this had been a bad idea.

"Well you've seen me, and I'm fine, no thanks to you," he growled. "The infirmary's two floors up." His tone made it clear that was where he expected her to go, or anywhere else in Atlantis, so long as it wasn't near him.

After a few seconds, it became apparent that Allina wasn't going to leave. He sighed in frustration and put down what he was working on to look at him. "What?" he asked.

"Why do you have to be so mean?" she asked him. "I was only doing what I thought was right."

"Well, you were wrong," he said shortly. Damnit, why did she have to even bring it up? Why couldn't she go away? He made the mistake of glancing up at her face. He could still remember how good it had felt to kiss her, even if she had started out being a little unsure of herself. God help him, he wanted to kiss her again.

She sensed his attraction towards her and stepped towards him, getting close enough to kiss him. Despite himself, he kissed her back. At his response, she opened her mouth to kiss him properly, her tongue meeting his as their kisses became increasingly steamy…

He pushed her away abruptly when she slid her hand down his chest to test his reaction to her. Damn her, she knew how to get him worked up. "Leave," he ordered breathlessly, thinking about how god it had been making love to her by the lake…

"You want me," she pointed out, flabbergasted by his behaviour. She was offering herself to him without any emotional demands in much the same way she had when they had first met and he was trying to pretend like he wasn't interested when his body was giving him away.

"I don't want to get involved with you again," he said. His eyes roamed her body, hungrily taking her in. As tried to think of something thoroughly boring to kill his hard-on, but all that came to him was the curves of her body and how she had responded to his touch.

"We are involved, I'm carrying your child," she reminded him.

He glared at her. Manipulative bitch. Hot, sexy manipulative bitch. He couldn't get the image out of his head of making love to her. God help him, he wanted her badly. He didn't know what it was about her, but she drove him to distraction. No woman, not even Samantha Carter, had made him react to her mere presence the way Allina did. He was sure she was doing it deliberately. Well, if she wanted to act like a whore who was he to turn her down? He kissed her roughly, snaking one hand around her back and holding her tightly against him so there was no space between them. She whimpered slightly against the forcefulness of his embrace before accepting and returning it. Within a few minutes they were both thoroughly worked up and Rodney was pushing her towards the couch he kept to sleep on when he was too lazy to go to his own room. Part of him felt like a cad for not pushing her out the door but a bigger part wanted to get laid and, after all, she had instigated it.

"This doesn't mean I forgive you," he informed her as he began pulling at her clothes. She groaned when he slipped a finger inside her, all thoughts about his conditions forgotten.

"Rodney," she gasped when he began fingering her. He couldn't hate her as much as he claimed to if he was so keen on having her enjoy it.

She didn't realise Rodney was simply too arrogant a man to leave a lover unsatisfied – and too hurt by the blow to his pride to admit he loved her. That she was responding so well to him only confirmed his attitude she was a whore. At least, that's what he told himself.

He pushed her onto her knees on the floor so she was bent over the couch and unzipped his pants. If he had to look into those beautiful, emotive eyes of hers while he was screwing her he might do something stupid, like tell her he loved her. She gave a whimper of protest when she realised what he was going to do but he quickly shut her up with a few practiced caresses. He was using her, he vaguely realised, and he tried not to care. _She_ had started this, and she clearly wanted it.

He grunted when he penetrated her from behind hard. So many times his thoughts had wandered to Allina, to having sex with her, and now here he was. Biting his lip to refrain from making too much noise he withdrew and thrust again. Hard. Oh, God, this was better then he remembered…

He grunted a few times as a pumped her hard and fast. He was far from gentle like he had been their first two times together but he still knew how to make her enjoy it. Her body quivered as she began to climax. As satisfying as it had been to his ego to hear her screaming his name in the throes of orgasm, he couldn't have that here and he clamped a hand roughly over her mouth when she started making high-pitched sounds. With a stifled groan, he slammed into her for a final time, biting his lip to keep himself from crying out her name. He would not give her the satisfaction.

She shuddered as she climaxed herself, and he removed his hand, then withdrew from her. he was already feeling bad about what had just transpired. No matter how much he hated her – or tried to convince himself that he hated her – it had still been a caddish thing to do.

He stood up and zipped up his pants. He was glad she still had her back towards him, because if he had to see what was sure to be a reproachful look in her eyes, he would turn into a guilt-ridden wreck. Goddamnit, why should he feel bad? _She_ had come to him, _she_ had wanted it.

So why did he feel bad?

He struggled to regain composure in the face of his guilty conscience. So he said coolly, "I'm going for a walk. I expect you to be gone when I come back." He tried to ignore the way she flinched at the coldness of his words ; well, what did she expect? That just because she had offered herself to him meant he would forgive her for the way she had betrayed him?

He left his office because he was afraid if he stayed for much longer he would do something stupid, like take her into his arms and whisper all kinds of apologies for treating her so shabbily. He had only done what any other man would have done when a beautiful woman offered herself to them, so he had no reason to feel bad about it.

When he came back, she was gone. He wasn't surprised. He had treated rather shabbily, and he didn't know of any woman who would stick around after that. Feeling less then good about himself, he sank into his couch and then decided to move to his desk. His couch smelled like Allina, and sex, funnily enough.

No matter how he rationalised it, he knew he shouldn't have treated Allina they way he had. He'd lashed out at her because he was angry. He made a note to ask Elizabeth to make Allina keep her distance. He didn't want anything to do with her, but he didn't want to treat her badly either, and the only way to do that was for her not to be around him.

An hour later, Elizabeth stormed into his office, looking absolutely furious. She hit him hard across the face. "You are an absolute asshole!" she yelled.

He had never heard her swear before, so she _must_ be angry at him. "What?" he asked innocently.

"Don't you _what_ me," Elizabeth raged. "I _know_ you were with Allina before."

"So?" he asked indifferently. No point in denying it ; they had his DNA on file. "Who I sleep with is none of your business." Unless the sex itself wasn't what Elizabeth was coming to him about. His eyes narrowed. "Did she say I _forced_ her? Because I didn't. She's lying. _She_ came onto _me_."

"You would think so little of her, wouldn't you?" Elizabeth asked. She'd had it with Rodney's attitude towards Allina. She had tolerated it until now, but he'd gone too far. He'd hurt her. "She's in the infirmary. She was complaining of abdominal pains. Carson's got her resting. What the hell did you do to her?"

"Nothing!" Rodney said. "Well, I was a little rough with her but – I wasn't trying to – if that's what you mean – _she wanted it!_ How is she? How is the – how is she?"

"Carson thinks she'll be fine, that they'll both be fine," Elizabeth said, her lips pursed disapprovingly. She was furious at Rodney for being rough with her, but she decided he wasn't guilty of the worse of the two transgressions – trying to make Allina miscarry. At least, she hoped not, which was more credit then Carson was giving him right now. It didn't help matters that he'd already tried to terminate the pregnancy, but Elizabeth decided that even if he did resort to subterfuge, he wouldn't do it in such a cruel way. At least he had the decency to look contrite. "If you can't control yourself around her, I don't want you spending any time with her," Elizabeth said.

"I was going to ask you to tell her the same thing," Rodney said through gritted teeth. "_She_ came to _me_, Liz, she practically begged me. If I'd known I'd hurt her I wouldn't have done it but don't make me out to be the bad guy."

Elizabeth accepted Rodney's explanation – frankly, it was quite typical of Rodney to hurt people through sheer insensitivity and self-absorption, but not so typical that he did it through sheer malice. She turned to go, and then, almost as an afterthought, because she wasn't sure if he cared or not, she added, "Oh, and by the way, congratulations, you're going to be a father."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three 

It was a combination of being scared of Elizabeth's wrath if he didn't treat Allina well and the responsibility he felt towards his impending fatherhood, mixed a little genuine remorse about hurting her, that made Rodney feel compelled to pay her a visit in the infirmary.

She was lying in bed, having been sedated so she wouldn't worry about the baby. Carson immediately intercepted Rodney as soon as he saw the scientist making his way straight for their newest patient. "What do you think you're doing?" he asked warily when he saw Rodney.

"Going to see Allina," Rodney stated the obvious. "Elizabeth told me about the paternity test, so –"

"So you finally decided to make an appearance?" Carson asked, his sarcasm lost on Rodney through his heavy accent. "I'm sure Allina will really appreciate that, after you tried twice to terminate her pregnancy."

"Hey, I didn't do it deliberately the last time!" Rodney said, then, characteristically, he whined, "Elizabeth believes me."

"Elizabeth is a fool," Carson declared, although he was tempted to believe Rodney really hadn't meant to hurt Allina. It was too callous a way to do it. Carson wouldn't put it past Rodney to have put something in Allina's food, but he wouldn't have engaged in rough sex. It was too intimate for him to do. "I don't think you should see her right now," Carson insisted.

"I don't see how that's any of your business," Rodney retorted. "She's carrying my child."

"Which you made quite clear you didn't want," Carson said.

"Because I didn't know if it was mine!" Rodney said indignantly. Seemed like a perfectly good excuse to him. Well, he was not going to stand here and squabble with Carson Becket, a man he considered to be of lesser intelligence to him. He barged past the Scottish doctor to Allina.

She was groggy, so he shook her awake. "Rodney!" Carson yelled indignantly. There really was no end to the man's audacity. "Leave her alone!"

"It's OK, Carson," Allina said when she woke up and saw Rodney standing there. Rodney had treated her shabbily but she stilled hoped to work things out with him. "I'm awake now." Carson looked disapproving and Rodney looked triumphant.

"That means go away," Rodney said to Carson. Carson looked to Allina for approval ; she gave it. Christ, he had no idea what she saw in Rodney. He must have _really_ been something when the child had been conceived for Allina to be so eager to see him. That, or she was just a fool. Carson was more inclined to go with the latter.

"I was hoping you would come," Allina said. Her eyes clouded over with unshed tears when she thought about the passing threat to her baby.

"Did Elizabeth tell you about the test she took?" Rodney asked. Allina nodded. "Well, it came back saying I was the father so… I'm here to accept my obligations."

She stared at him. "You think this is an _obligation?_" she asked. Rodney nodded. "Where I come from, every child is a blessing."

Rodney grimaced. "Well, I come from a planet where we have a serious population control problem. There are thousand of pregnancies terminated every years, and thousands more that aren't wanted. I'm sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear, but I just don't come from a place where every child is a blessing." That, and his own experienced growing up were less then pleasant.

"So you're only here because you feel you should be?"

"Yes."

Allina turned away from him. "Then go away. I don't care."

It was tempting to do just that. He resented her, and he wasn't too happy about his impeding fatherhood, either. But he had a deeply ingrained sense of obligation. If Allina wouldn't have an abortion then he had a duty to help her out with the kid. "I'm not going to go away, Allina. If you're going to have this kid then I'm going to be there for it."

"We don't need you."

"Tough. I'm not going to have any kid of mine growing up and not knowing who I am."

"But you were happy to try and kill it."

"That's different. It's not a real person until you give birth."

"Alright, that's enough Rodney," Carson interrupted. He could see Allina was getting very upset. They were like chalk and cheese in their values. How they had ever gotten together was beyond Carson. He sent Rodney away and attempted to comfort a distraught Allina. It didn't help that Allina truly didn't understand the place Rodney was coming from. Not wanting a child was completely alien to her culture.

"His childhood wasn't very happy," Carson said diplomatically. He didn't know much about Rodney's childhood, only that he didn't get along with his parents and his father had been quite critical of him. "I'm sure he'll come around eventually." Allina looked at her disbelievingly.

Carson spoke to Elizabeth about it later that day. "I don't know what to do. I think in time he'll be more charitable but for the moment he can barely stand being around her."

"I'll talk to him," Elizabeth said, although she doubted her input would change his mind.

"You know, you're not helping matters much," she admonished Rodney when she had a moment alone with him. "Allina's got no idea why you're acting the way you are. She can barely understand that you don't want this child, let alone how you can take it on as an obligation nonetheless."

Rodney shrugged. "Seems pretty simple to me," he said. "I don't want it, but if she won't have an abortion, then I don't want my kid to grow up not knowing me. I don't want it but I won't neglect it."

"You're doing a damn fine job of neglecting Allina right now," Elizabeth admonished him.

"It's her own damn fault!" Rodney raged. "She manipulated me and let me fall in love with her!"

Oops, he hadn't meant to say that. He hadn't even meant to _think_ it. "I mean – I mean –" he tried desperately to backtrack.

Elizabeth smiled smugly. She hadn't expected such a result and she was immensely pleased with herself. "You mean you're acting like someone who's been betrayed by the person he loves," she offered.

Rodney crossed his arms over his chest and pouted like a child. "I am not," he said. "Well, maybe I am, but only because she used me and I don't like being used… not because I have any feelings for her."

Elizabeth kept her peace. Rodney would admit to his feelings when he was ready and not a moment sooner (although she wouldn't be above nudging him in the right direction). "OK, well how's this," she suggested, "Allina truly doesn't understand your reaction. She _might_, at a stretch, grasp the concept that children aren't always a blessing in our culture, but she will never understand you saying you don't want it on one hand but you have an obligation to it on the other. That barely makes sense to me, and it won't make one iota of sense to her. So _please_, unless you want to drive her to go home, be supportive. She worships you, and it's not doing her health any good – or the health of the baby – to have you be so cold to her."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Be _nice_, be _supportive_, don't pick fights with her," Elizabeth pleaded. "I'm not asking you to marry her or be in a relationship with her. Just be a little more sensitive to the situation." Or at least, she added silently, as sensitive as you know how – which sometimes wasn't very.

"I'll try," Rodney said gruffly. The truth was, although he would never admit it, was that he felt a little bad for being so short with Allina. She couldn't help it if she didn't understand their ways – or his personal experience with children, having been one years ago. He was apprehensive about being a father because his own had been such a miserable one, and weren't those things genetic? At any rate, he shouldn't be taking it out on Allina. She had made him fall in love with her and stabbed him in the back, but she hadn't gotten pregnant deliberately – that had been his fault, he should have used a condom. So he couldn't hold that against her. And since she could never understand why he was acting the way he was about his impeding fatherhood, he should be making more of an effort to at least be civil about it.

Elizabeth smiled. She'd always known that talking reasonably worked much better with Rodney then yelling at him, no matter how outrageous his actions had been.

For the next two months, Rodney tried his hardest to be nice to Allina. It was hard not to approach it as an obligation, but the more time he spent with her, the more comfortable he began to feel about the prospects of fatherhood. He hoped he'd make a better father then his own had been – that was his greatest fear, that he would inflict on his child the same treatment that had been meted out to him.

In turn, Allina, at Elizabeth's suggestion, didn't do anything to encourage a romance between her and Rodney. Although she never understood how he could not want a child, let alone see it as an obligation rather then have nothing to do with it, she welcomed his involvement in her pregnancy. He never touched her intimately, seeing her as the mother – or _vessel _– for his child rather then his lover, but he remained polite around her, which was better then being insulting.

Elizabeth found having someone of Allina's intellect around was quite an convenience, and when the young woman expressed an interest in learning about the technology of Atlantis, she arranged to have her spend some time with Zelenka. She didn't want to know what happened if she made Rodney spend any more time with her then he considered his obligation. And Allina and Zelenka got on well. Radek was more then pleased to have an attractive young women interested in what he was doing – and learning fast. More then a few times, both he and Elizabeth thought they detected jealousy in his voice.

She'd been at Atlantis for two and a half months – bringing her pregnancy to three and a half months – when she expressed an interest in returning home. Not to stay, she understood the complications of her pregnancy and that it was best for her to stay here where they had the technology to deal with an assortment of complications, but she missed her family, her friends, her way of life. Besides, it would be good to show them they were mistreating Allina.

Elizabeth arranged for her Alpha team – John, Rodney, Ford and Teyla – to go with Allina to her home planet for what would start of as a day trip. Things had ended badly between the Atlantis expedition and the Brotherhood, but Elizabeth hoped that they could open up negotiations again. There were high spirits as the five of them set off through the Stargate…

…And were greeted with silence, dead silence. True, the planets they visited were mostly agrarian societies, and therefor didn't have the hustle of a city, but this was quiet for this planet, way too quiet. And it wasn't just that it was quiet. Buildings had been destroyed, areas of forest burned to the ground. It looked like the apocalypse had taken place.

It was initially agreed that Rodney should stay with Allina and John, Ford and Teyla would have a scout around to see what had happened. It didn't come to that, though, because an old man came running up to them once he saw they were humans and not the Wraith.

"Jaca!" Allina cried when she recognised the old man. She turned to the group. "This is my father's brother," she said, happy to see a familiar face amidst all the destruction. She turned back to her uncle. "What happened here?" she asked.

"The Wraith came," Jaca said ominously.

Allina looked shocked. She was well aware, if not personally then through her planet's history, what the Wraith were capable of – and what they were not. "But – the Wraith do not cause this destruction," she said.

Jaca looked pained. "When they learned of the power source and that it had been given to the people of Atlantis, they destroyed everything and killed almost everyone."

"I don't understand. What is so important about Atlantis?" Teyla asked.

John thought for a few seconds, then his eyes widened with comprehension. "Earth," he said. "They want the co-ordinates to Earth. The female Wraith that fed of Colonel Sumner must have found out about it from him. It would be a plentiful new feeding ground for them, especially given we, uh –"

"Woke them all up at the same time?" Teyla offered.

John looked sheepish. "Yeah, that," he said. He could imagine how jacked off the Wraith would be if, anticipating a plentiful new food source, they then ran into a race of people who informed them the only means of getting to the food source was protected by a power source that they'd helped provide. That, and the Wraith must be getting pretty hungry, with so many of them awake but the same amount of food available ; it was getting more and more common to have entire planets more or less entirely wiped out.

Allina had lost interest in John's reasons for the Wraith's brutal attack. She asked Jaca, "My father?" She could see _some_ survivors, a tragically small group huddled a few meters behind Jaca, but she couldn't see her father among them.

Jaca looked down sadly. "It was from he that… they found out about the power source," he admitted. He did not elaborate, choosing not to inform Allina that her father had been tortured before having the life sucked out of him.

He didn't need to. Allina knew enough about the Wraith to know what they did to people. She trembled, and passed out. Rodney, who was standing behind her and knew her well enough to at least know what was coming when she started to tremble, broke her fall and lifted her awkwardly into his arms. He just wasn't good at the sweeping-a-woman-off-her-feet thing, but at least he was strong enough to carry her weight, which was more many people gave him credit for.

John turned to Rodney. "Take her home," he said. He turned to Jaca. "Are they all the survivors?" he asked.

"There are others, hiding, but not many," Jaca admitted.

"Alright," John said to Ford and Teyla. "I think it's pretty safe to say that there's going to be no imminent Wraith attack." There was simply nothing worth attacking, although he wasn't crass enough to say that out loud. "We are going to round up everyone we can find and take the to Atlantis. It's the least we owe them." Ford and Teyla nodded.

Teyla started dialling Atlantis and Rodney took Allina through. John realised he could have left Allina by the gate with one of the other survivors, his reasons for getting Rodney to escort her back to Atlantis ran deeper then that. It was obvious even to John that Rodney's feelings for Allina ran deeper then he cared to admit, he was no good to the team while he was concerned for her, so he may as well take her back to Atlantis.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Rodney! What the hell happened? Where's the rest of the team?" Elizabeth asked when, barely minutes after they'd left, Rodney's ID number was being broadcast through the Stargate.

"Planet was attacked by the Wraith, there's practically nothing left. Allina – her father was taken, she fainted," Rodney explained. He seemed awfully reluctant to hand her over to the medical team. "John, Teyla and Aidan are still on the planet, rounding up survivors. There's no threat, the Wraith aren't coming back. There's nothing for them to come back for."

Elizabeth blanched. She'd heard, with increasing occurrence, about the Wraith gobbling up entire populations of planets. She paled when Rodney explained why the Wraith had exacted such revenge. "That's why John's rounding up survivors, he feels like it's the least we owe them."

"Of course," Elizabeth said. Even in this time of disaster, she didn't miss the way Rodney's eyes were following Allina, being taken by stretcher to the infirmary, for all that he was trying to hide it by keeping his head turned in Elizabeth's direction. "Why don't you go and wait for her to come to?" Elizabeth suggested, then she added, just so Rodney could have the excuse of pretending he was only concerned about the pregnancy, "make sure everything's alright with the baby."

Rodney looked tired. "I'm needed here," he said distractedly.

Elizabeth laughed dryly. "You're no use to anyone if your mind's elsewhere," she pointed out. "I am ordering you to go." That worked ; with the excuse of being told what to do, Rodney practically raced after Allina.

An hour later, the rest of the team returned with a few dozen survivors. Elizabeth looked at the motley crew with dismay. "This was it? These are all the survivors?"

John nodded solemnly. "Afraid so," he admitted. A few dozen people from a population that had been at least in the tens of thousands – and they had been lucky to survive. The Wraith had been vicious. God knew how Atlantis would look when the word got out. _Definitely do not help them, it will make the Wraith angrier_.

Jaca stepped forward, and Elizabeth took him to be the designated leader for the surviving refugees. "My deepest regrets for what happened," she said. "Of course, Atlantis is open to you. It's the least we can offer you. Anything else you want – travel, settling on the mainland – just ask and I'm sure we can come to an arrangement."

Jaca nodded. "We do not hold you responsible for the Wraith attack," he said.

"That's very generous of you," Elizabeth said, feeling very responsible for the Wraith attack on these people and their planet. At least now that they had a ZPM they were relatively well defended and could offer these people safe harbour.

"The Wraith attacked us because the power source that we gave you to protect yourselves enraged them. That must make you quite a threat to them," Jaca offered insightful. "In the bigger picture, the safety of Atlantis is more important then the preservation of one planet."

"I hope we can live up to that statement," Elizabeth said wryly, and directed John to find the refugees living quarters in Atlantis.

"Where is Allina?" Jaca asked Elizabeth. John quickly explained that Jaca was Allina's uncle and Allina's father had been killed in the attacks.

"She's in the infirmary, Rodney's with her, and a doctor," Elizabeth said. "She's getting the best care. You can go and see her soon. In the meantime, why don't you try and get settled as best as you can?"

Jaca nodded, and instructed the other refugees to follow John to their new quarters. The huddled around him. It would take them a while to feel comfortable in Atlantis.

"How is Allina?" John asked Elizabeth once he'd gotten the refugees as settled as they were going to be for the time being.

"Carson had a quick look at her before he took her up to the infirmary. He thinks he just passed out from shock. I guess learning you're father's dead will do that to you. But she should be fine – in body, at least."

--------------------------------------------------------------

Allina came to slowly, her mind rebelling against the need to think about her father's death. Physically, she felt fine. Rodney catching her, awkwardly as it had been, had saved her from any injuries a fall might have caused. But mentally, she was devastated.

Rodney, seeing she was awake, was immediately by her side. Carson took note of the fact that, despite Rodney's hostility towards Allina, when she was in danger – real or imagined, it was real as far as Rodney was concerned – he stayed by her side. Even after Carson had cleared both her and the baby for any injuries, Rodney had refused to leave her side until she woke up. A man didn't do that for a woman he hated, even one who was carrying his child.

"Hey…" Rodney said gently when she opened her eyes. "You're awake."

Automatically her hands flew to her slightly-swollen stomach. "The baby?" she asked.

Rodney slipped his hand over hers, threading his fingers through the fingers of one of her hands and curling them over. Her heart fluttered just a little despite the devastating news that had been delivered to her. She and Rodney hadn't held hands since their first time together. "He's OK," Rodney said.

Allina smiled weakly. "He?" she asked. She could never get over the technology they had at Atlantis, that they had the ability to know a baby's sex six months before it was born.

"RJ," Rodney supplied in a half -hearted joke, although he had no intention of naming his son after himself. It was his own father's name, and he was trying to remove himself and his offspring from the McKay legacy as far as possible. "You're both going to be fine. You just had a shock."

"I didn't fall?" Allina asked.

"I caught you," Rodney admitted, looking a little embarrassed. "It was no biggie." Although it had felt rather masculine, having a woman faint into his arms.

Allina smiled. "Thankyou," she said. Rodney _had_ to care in some small way if he'd caught her rather then just letting her fall, if he'd stayed with her while she'd been unconscious, if he was showing no sign of letting go of her hand. That was something, at least. She closed her eyes and thought about the death of her father… all her people who she'd tried so hard to save… she should never have left, she should never have come to Atlantis. She should have fought with them, died with him, that should have been her obligation as the leader of the Brotherhood.

He noticed her sudden melancholy, even though he'd told her both she and the baby were fine. He was sensitive enough to realise it was the shock – and possibly guilt – of having lost her father and so many of her people. Tentatively, he stroked her hair with his free hand. He wasn't good as reassuring people and he didn't know what to do. Being so close to Allina felt strange, but she had given him quite a fright in passing out and he didn't want to leave her. "It's OK," he said. "We brought all the survivors back here."

"How many?" Allina asked.

"About fifty," Rodney admitted. He hated the way her eyes reflected the torment she was feeling. He hadn't realised how emotive her eyes were. "It wasn't your fault," he said quietly.

She started to cry. "I should have been there," she insisted. He had no idea what to do, so awkwardly he lifted her into a sitting position so he could hug her.

"If you'd been with them you would most likely have been killed," he reminded her. "And killed our son with you." He had hoped such a harsh reminder would bring her to her senses, but it only served to make her cry harder. He let her cry into his chest, patting her head awkwardly as he tried to soothe her.

After a few minutes, she suddenly composed herself and withdrew from his arms. "I'm OK now," she said stiffly, and he saw the same stoic leader who had forced him to hand over the ZPM at gunpoint. "I'd like you to leave."

His eyebrows furrowed and he tried to read her. He wasn't good at reading people, let alone women, let alone women who were trained to hide their feelings. He was above telling her he _wanted_ to stay, and since she seemed pretty resolute about wanting him to leave – "OK," he agreed, not knowing what else to say. He walked out of the infirmary, leaving Allina alone with her thoughts – and her guilt.

She should never have left the planet. She should have known Rodney didn't want her, he had made that pretty clear when she'd taken the power source away from him. Just then , he had just being nice know because he felt sorry for her. His treatment of her in the past ten weeks was testimony to the fact he didn't want her here. She should have stayed with her people. She should have been there for them, she should have fought with them, or died with them. But she should never have abandoned them.

Guilt swamped her. She had followed her heart, and what had it achieved? Except for just then, Rodney could barely contain his resentment for the havoc she'd wreaked on his life. So many of her people were dead because they'd handed over the power source, and she was alive because she'd come to Atlantis.

She didn't deserve to be alive.

She got out of bed and walked out of the infirmary, giving a cursory check to make sure she no-one had seen her leave. Not that she expected them to care, but Carson was being on the principle of saving lives so he might feel an obligation to stop her. An _obligation_… like Rodney had, with tolerating her presence in Atlantis.

She made her way through the halls of Atlantis. In the ten weeks she'd been here, she'd come to know the place quite well and she knew how to get to one of the balconies which had spectacular views and thousand-foot drops.

She had left the infirmary not long after Rodney, so it was fortunate that he saw he leave. His interest was immediately piqued. He thought she'd gone to see what remained of her people, and since her uncle was now living at Atlantis, he wanted to look like he was fulfilling his obligations as would-be father. And then it occurred to him that she was striding quite purposefully for someone who had no idea where she was headed. Now his interested was _really_ piqued. What – or _who_ – was so important that she was practically running? At a distance, he followed her, hoping she didn't look behind her.

She was heading towards the outside of Atlantis, he realised. He trailled her to a balcony and watched her lean over it, then, to his horror, start to climb over it. It had to be a hundred meter drop into the ice water, at least! His blood ran cold and in that moment he realised just how much Allina meant to him. "Allina!" he yelled, and in an instant, he was behind her, his arm around her waist, dragging her back into the hall and locking the door behind them.

It was only then that he let Allina go. His heart was pounding. She'd given him the fright of his life and he was furious at her for it. He slapped her hard across the face and she reeled back, losing her balance and ended up on the floor. "What the hell were you thinking?" he asked, advancing on her. "You scared the crap out of me! You were just going to _bail_ like that? You were going to – oh, God…" he thought about what would have happened if he hadn't happened to have seen her leaving the infirmary. He dropped to the floor and pulled her into his arms. She was crying now. He held her close to his chest, not sure if he would be able to ever let her go. "Baby, baby," he crooned into her ear. "Don't you _ever _scare me like that again."

Keeping one arm wrapped tightly around her waist, he tilted her head up forcefully and mashed his mouth against hers. There was no gentleness in his kiss, just distress and possessiveness. If it was possible, he tightened his hold on her until she could barely breathe, and what oxygen she did have in her lungs was being exhausted by kissing him back. She didn't know much about men, only that they didn't kiss like this when they didn't care. _He did care!_ She wrapped her arms around his neck, twirled his hair through her fingers and matched the hunger in his desperate, frantic kisses.

That was how Carson found them.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four 

_To who it was to commented they couldn't see Rodney hitting Allina no matter how mad he was and it made him out to be a wife beater:_

_It was written as an expression of fear and anger at making him scared. It's a fairly natural response to lash out (or at least want to) to a person you love when they've put themselves in danger. Several child phycologists who are otherwise heavily anti-corporal punishment condone hitting a child as a natural human response when, say, the child has deliberately run onto a busy street; first, the parent is just glad the child is safe, then they're angry the child wilfully put themselves in danger, causing so much fear for the parent. I meant it as a warped expression of love – if he didn't care, he wouldn't have been angry at her for frightening him like that, and he wouldn't have hit her. I didn't see it as him hitting a woman, I saw it as him hitting someone who'd put themselves in wilful danger and frightened him at the thought of losing her._

_And please, no flaming for the analogy. _

Allina had been as heavily sedated as Carson would allow, given her condition, and he'd had a guard posted by her bed. He had agonised over whether or not to inform her uncle over the attempt she'd made on her life, and decided against it. If that was something she wanted him to know, she could tell him herself when she was in a better frame of mind.

Although she was sedated, she was incredibly distressed, something that was neither good for her nor the baby. Carson was reluctant to give her anything more to help her sleep for fear it would harm the baby. She seemed to respond well to having Rodney around, especially when he held her hand or made some other physical contact with her. That Rodney McKay had a calming affect on a person was something that amused Carson to no end.

Rodney seemed quite agitated himself, Carson realised. So he _did_ care about her. Although Carson had kind of figured that out by the way he was kissing her when he'd found them in the hall. If she meant nothing more to him then a vessel for his child, he would have simply hauled her back to the infirmary and be done with her –he wouldn't have started making out with her there and then. And he wouldn't have stayed with her with that look in his eyes, that frightened, longing look. Especially not when he looked exhausted himself. The infirmary beds did absolutely nothing for his back.

Carson alerted Elizabeth to what had happened. He'd left Allina for half an hour and come back to find she was gone. It had been sheer good luck that he'd found her as quickly as he had, although by that time she had been more or less safe; Rodney hadn't looked like he was going to let her go anytime soon. Now that the immediate danger was fading fast, it was kind of endearing that he'd become so possessive of her. He was going to have a hard time convincing people that she meant nothing to him now.

"But she's alright?" Elizabeth asked.

Carson nodded. "Rodney thinks she feels guilty about her people dying, that she holds herself responsible, that's why she tried to – I think she needs to spend some time with Kate Heightmeyer."

"Agreed," Elizabeth said. She was grateful Atlantis seemed to have the support of what remained of Allina's people or there could be a huge fallout over this – even though Rodney had saved her life. "How's Rodney doing?"

"He's pretty agitated," Carson said. "She won't sleep when he's not there, and it's killing him."

Despite the almost-tragedy that had touched them, Elizabeth couldn't help but smile. She shared Carson's opinion that Rodney couldn't be acting the way he was in regard to Allina and _not_ care about her. But then, that was typical Rodney – bluster and whine when he could afford to, doing whatever it took when danger was imminent. The same instinct that had caused him to step between Elizabeth and a gun was now causing him to stay by Allina's side despite his obvious exhaustion.

Elizabeth got Rodney in a corner to speak with him. She wanted to get him alone, but he didn't want Allina out of his side, so a corner would have to do. "Sounds like she gave you quite a fright," Elizabeth commented.

There was a flash of agitation in his eyes, but Rodney tried to compose himself. "Seeing people on the edge of death does that to me," he said huffily. "Remember Koyla?"

She remembered Koyla, and she remembered that Rodney had never kissed her, even though he'd had ample opportunity when they'd been on the balcony in the rain. She told him so. "Carson says you guys looked ready to rip each other's clothes of," she remarked lightly, omitting some of the more colourful phrases Carson had used.

Rodney flinched. "I was frightened, I reacted," he said in a small voice, like he would have kissed _anyone_ he'd rescued from death. Elizabeth knew from personal experience that wasn't true.

"If you care about her, Rodney, there's no shame in admitting to it," Elizabeth said gently.

Rodney's eyes flashed hurt. "I can't," he whispered in a small voice. "She – I don't wanna go down that road again."

Elizabeth smiled sympathetically – and a little pityingly – at Rodney. Anyone could see how much he cared about her, maybe even loved her, but he was too stubborn and too protective of that heart of his to admit to it. "Then at least get some sleep. Proper sleep. In your room."

"Allina gets distressed when I'm not here," Rodney said, proof positive that she cared about her. It wasn't like Rodney to give up the opportunity to sleep on his custom-made mattress.

"Carson," Elizabeth called. The Scottish Doctor came running. "Carson, is there any reason why Allina has to stay in the infirmary?"

Carson looked confused, not entirely understanding what Elizabeth was getting at. "She needs rest," he said, "and she needs to be guarded to make sure she doesn't try anything. But she doesn't need to be watched by a doctor, if that's what you mean."

She smiled. "Good. Rodney, if you want, you can take her to your room."

Rodney looked floored. "I can't take her to my room!" he said indignantly. "People will talk." This defence was met with amused smiles. People were already talking, and once word got out about their little make-out session in the hall (which would become much more of a makeout session by the time the day was through), they would talk some more. Rodney looked over at Allina and raked his hand through his hair tiredly. Elizabeth's suggestion made sense. He couldn't sleep here, and he couldn't leave her to become agitated when he wasn't there. But even when they'd first gotten together, when he'd been a fool enough to think they could have a relationship, they hadn't slept together in the same space. He hadn't wanted to face John's knowing smirk in the morning about him being out all night, and now the idea just seemed foreign to him.

But he was exhausted, and couldn't bring himself to leave Allina to become agitated. Letting her sleep with him it was, then. "Fine," he agreed, and he sounded far less displeased with the idea then he was trying to put across.

Allina stirred when she was lifted into a stretcher. "What's happening?" she asked.

"It's OK, we're just taking you somewhere else to sleep. I'll stay with you," Rodney promised, and that seemed to settle her.

Allina was taken to the outside of Rodney's room, where he lifted her into his arms. "Not a word," he said threateningly to the two doctors who's carried her the way and were smirking knowingly. Christ, how had he gotten himself into this mess? She felt nice in his arms, especially when she wrapped her arms around his neck. She sure knew how to make him feel masculine.

He opened the doors to his room awkwardly – your mobility tended to be wrecked when you were holding something that weighed at least fifty kilograms – and carried her to this bed, glad no-one could see him doing this. He felt a tiny bit of disappointment that he was doing this for strictly practical reasons. There was something inherently wrong about carrying a woman to bed for the purposes of sleeping. "I'll be back in a minute," he told her, and rummaged around in his drawers for the sweatpants he slept in when it was cold. It wasn't cold now, but he didn't want to be exposed as he would be in his boxers. She'd already seen him naked, but he told himself that wasn't the same.

In the bathroom, he changed into sweatpants and a sweatshirt. He was surprised how nervous he felt. It wasn't like he was _doing_ anything, just sleeping. _Which isn't what most people will think_, he told himself, knowing that by this time tomorrow, tongues would be wagging about the night Rodney and Allina had spent together and how no red-blooded male – which Rodney had proven he was, by getting her pregnant – would be able to spent the night with a woman like Allina and just sleep. _To hell with that, people can think what they like_. Rodney honestly didn't know if he physically had it in him to take advantage of the situation anyway. Now that he was in comfortable clothes and his comfortable, custom-made mattress was meters away, he was more tired then he realised, and the fact that there was a beautiful woman in his bed barely registered.

He crawled into bed next to her. She'd been drifting off to sleep, but she stirred when she felt the motion of him joining her. "It's OK, go to sleep," he instructed her.

"Rodney…" she murmured.

He pulled her close to him so her back was pressed into his chest. "I'm here," he said. "Go to sleep, I'm exhausted."

He would scarcely admit it to himself, but there was something very comforting about falling asleep with Allina in his arms.

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_She felt terrific in his arms. He'd forced himself to forget how nice it had been to simply lie with Allina. The feel of her skin, his hand on her arm, her back pressed against his chest – their clothes didn't offer much resistance to the heat the were generating. The smell of her, the way her skin tasted as he nuzzled the back of her neck… she murmured appreciatively and reached for his hand, threading her fingers through his tightly. _

_Despite his earlier conviction that he was far too tired for sex, he was achingly hard. He held it off as long as he could, wanting to feel her body beneath his hands. She moaned and writhed under his touch, and feeling her gyrate involuntarily against him was doing nothing to kill his erection. Inside her shirt up her front to cup her breasts and down over her swollen stomach. The distortion, rather then being a turn-off, was vaguely erotic. He was still spooning her so he couldn't see her, but that didn't matter because he'd already memorised her body. He knew right now her lips were parted slightly as her breathing became laboured ; knew her eyes were open as if she could _see_ as well as _feel_ the experience and wanted to take as much of it in as possible ; knew if he slid his hand down he would be greeted with the response he wanted…_

_She gasped when he slipped a finger inside her. She wanted him as much as he wanted her. He wasn't surprised, everything felt so right at the moment that this was merely a natural progression._

_Carson had put her in a hospital gown so it was easier to pull the material up to her waist rather then attempt to undress her completely. Impatiently, he pulled at her panties until he had the access he wanted. She was moaning now as he touched her, begging him to make love to her. He yanked down his sweatpants to his thighs and positioned himself behind her. "Rodney…"she pleaded with her tone. _

_He slowly penetrated her until he was buried inside her. He buried his face in her hair and whispered her name urgently. He wrapped one arm securely around her waist and his free hand he locked onto her hip for leverage. He stayed inside her for several minutes, barely moving, wanting to savour every moment. This was about more then just getting his rocks off. Almost reluctantly, he started thrusting slowly, the complete opposite to their last tryst. He got off on hearing her moan and sigh. Christ, he was so hot for her, he'd been fooling himself to think otherwise. "Allina," he grunted._

_He took his time and made her climax before he let himself go. His mind revolted against the experience ending but his body got its way eventually. "I love you," he whispered urgently…_

Rodney, half-awake as it was, jolted awake with the realisation that he hadn't been dreaming. His arm was wrapped tightly around Allina and he was still inside her. He'd thought he'd been having a fantastic, particularly vivid dream but no, he'd been so hot for her he'd actually managed to screw her in his sleep. "Oh, God," he groaned as he eased himself out of her and pulled his pants up. "Why didn't you stop me?" he asked.

His admonishing, mildly accusing tone made her flinch. She didn't turn around, not wanting to see the angry look she thought was in her eyes. "I thought you wanted to," she said in a small voice. Had she done something wrong again? Rodney had been so nice the last few days that she had let herself hope a reconciliation with him might be possible. Once again, she had misjudged his feelings for her.

Gently Rodney turned her onto her back. He sensed her agitation at what she thought was his rejection of her and something possessed him to softly brushed her tussled hair off her forehead and then kiss her there. "Of course I wanted it," he said, not bothering to try and lie. When you were so hot for a woman you managed to have sex with them half asleep there wasn't much point in denying it. "But I hurt you last time." He flipped onto his back and sighed, all promise of sleep destroyed. "I'll take you to the infirmary." God, he should have known better then to let her sleep with him. Stupid Elizabeth and her stupid idea.

"It doesn't hurt, and I want to stay here," Allina admitted shyly. She was delighted Rodney cared, and she wanted to enjoy the moment while it lasted.

Rodney bit his lip. He _had_ been more gentle with her this time, actually, he couldn't remember ever taking sex so slowly. Maybe he'd just been too rough with her. And he _did_ want to get back to sleep. Before he'd gotten all horny, it had been quite soothing to sleep with her in his arms. Not that he'd admit such a thing to _her_. "Tell me if it starts to hurt, and I'll take you down to the infirmary," he said sleepily. Without waiting for him to embrace her this time, she snuggled into his arms. Rather then reject her embrace, he returned it.

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Rodney had been hoping that someone – anyone – other then Carson would be on duty the following morning when he took Allina to the infirmary. She insisted she was fine, but he didn't want to take any chances. She didn't protest after that, secretly pleased that he cared. Last time, she had made her own way to the infirmary after she'd started to feel cramps in her abdomen; this time, he'd insisted on taking her even though she'd insisted she was fine. Well, she didn't insist too hard, because she didn't want to test his patience and make him stop caring… Allina was learning the first things about handling Rodney.

Rodney looked a little sheepish when he explained to Carson was had happened. He fingered his sidearm on the off chance the Scottish doctor really went off at him. Carson just gave him an odd look and proceeded to examine Allina, judging it to be more important then having a go at Rodney, which could wait until after Carson was done.

Rodney found it harder then he'd expected to watch Carson examining Allina. He realised it was just the doctor's job, but that didn't stop him from feeling a little possessive. He was beginning to accept that Allina had been with no-one but him, and that gave his ego quite a boost. God help him for such a chauvinistic comment, but he _liked_ that Allina had only ever been his, and seeing her being examined so thoroughly by Carson made him want to get into a fight with the doctor.

Carson registered the bad vibes he was getting from Rodney. The arrogant scientist couldn't be _jealous_, could he? Carson was floored by the idea. But there Rodney was, practically glowering because another man was touching Allina intimately. If Carson wasn't a little insulted that Rodney thought so little of him, scientist to scientist, he would be amused at how much of a jealous boyfriend Rodney was acting. He made a mental note to tell Allina late, she could do with some empowering as far as Rodney was concerned. Although she seemed to be making headway with him all on her own. Rodney had brought her in himself, and he was acting a lot like a jealous boyfriend. Perhaps, for all that it could have ended in a great tragedy, Allina's attempt on her life had forced Rodney to acknowledge how much she meant to him.

"You're fine," he said reassuringly to Allina. He resisted the urge to chuckle slightly when Allina threw Rodney a smug I-told-you-so look. That told Carson two things; one, that Rodney had insisted on bringing her to him earlier, and she had insisted she was fine, which meant he'd been concerned for her beyond her insistence she was fine, and two, that she felt comfortable enough with him to gloat, just a little. "I want to talk to Rodney for a few minutes. Allina, can you wait outside?" Allina nodded and left the infirmary to wait outside.

"What happened?" Carson asked Rodney once Allina was out of earshot. "I thought I told you if you hurt her again –"

Rodney looked sheepish. "I was asleep," he admitted. "Well, half asleep – hey, don't look at me like that, _you_ try sleeping with a beautiful women and see how well _you_ resist temptation."

Carson smirked. Rodney was his usual indignant self. At least he'd acknowledged Allina was beautiful, that was something. "For what it's worth," Carson couldn't resist pointing out, "there's no reason why you can't have sex with her, you just have to be gentle. I think the last time was caused more by you being rough with her then her being pregnant."

He was enjoying watching Rodney become thoroughly flustered. "I have no intention of having sex with her again, last night was a mistake," he said with as much indignation as he could muster. "Hey, you won't tell anyone about this, will you?" he asked, his indignation replaced with concern for his reputation. Imagine what people would think of him when it got out that Rodney McKay was so sex-starved he managed to screw a woman in his sleep. He was already starting to feel embarrassed.

"You're secret's safe with me," Carson said, barely able to repress his smile. He couldn't help but feel a little sorry for Rodney, he was in such a bad head space when it came to Allina. Hopefully his attitude to her this morning was an indication of things to come. "Can you send her in for a minute?" he asked.

… "Did Rodney do this?" Carson asked, inspecting the nasty bruise on her cheek.

Allina cringed. "I don't think he meant to, he was angry," she defended him. She thought about the kiss that had followed him striking her.

Carson couldn't help but smile at the look on Allina's face. She really was in love with him, and he had the feeling that Rodney returned her sentiments, even if he was too stubborn to admit it yet. "He shouldn't have hit you, tell me if he does it again," he said, far calmer then he might otherwise have been to know Rodney had hit a pregnant woman – and hit her hard. "I can do something about this for you so it will heal quicker. Tell me, was this before or after he kissed you?"

"Before," Allina said, that dreamy look returning to her face.

"Ah," Carson said knowingly. "Here, this is going to sting a little," he said and began applying a cream to Allina's face. "I'm going to give you a little insight into Rodney. I'd say he hit you because you freaked him out. Rodney doesn't freak out easily, he whinges a lot but he doesn't lose his calm. If he freaked out, it was because he was scared of losing you – which means he cares a lot about you. And he's very attracted to you. That's why he kissed you, that's why last night happened. He's not ready to admit it to himself yet, but you mean an awful lot to him. You just have to be patient."

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For the next month, Rodney was the model of behaviour towards Allina. He was always there when she needed his support, both in terms of the pregnancy and when she was lonely and wanted some company. He discovered what Elizabeth had already discovered several months previously, like Allina was ain intelligent women with a desire to learn – not quite up to his level, but she made a damn good assistant and she liked being helpful.

But he never touched her sexually. He wanted to, and her swelling stomach didn't help matters – he couldn't believe how much of a turn-on it was to watch her and know she was carrying his son.

He felt bad about what had happened between them. He felt bad about his complete lack of control. He should not have let Allina get that close to him. He should have known better. He didn't know _why_ exactly he felt so bad, because she seemed fine – she had accepted his profuse apology with some confusion as to _why_ he was apologising, she had wanted it as much as he had – and she was constantly in his personal space, touching his arms, encouraging him to touch her swelling stomach. So he shouldn't feel bad. But he did.

To hell with it. He felt bad because he was aware of how attracted he was to her, and how much he cared for her. He remembered telling her, after they had made love by the lake on her planet, that he thought he was falling in love with her. He _knew_ he had fallen in love with her. And that scared the crap out of him. She had already betrayed him, what was to stop her from doing it again?

Allina sensed Rodney's emotional aloofness and it distressed her deeply. She had thought the last four months – especially the last month – had brought her and Rodney closer. At the very least, she _knew_ he wanted their son now. Sometimes, when they stayed up talking, he'd talk about his childhood and how he wanted to be a much better father then his own had been. He was optimistic about being a father. But being her partner – what was the term Elizabeth had given, boyfriend, husband? When it came to committing to her, that was an entirely different issue.

She scrounged up the courage to broach the subject with him. "Have I done something wrong?" she asked him one day.

He looked at her with some confusion. She hadn't done anything that had really annoyed him lately. Sure, she got stuff wrong from time to time but that wasn't anything that everyone did, so she was no exception. Actually, she had proven to be quite a handy assistant, despite her increasing bulk that was making her less and less mobile. "Apart from moving my papers yesterday, no," he said, and then he added, to make her feel better, "and there was no harm done there."

She bit her lip. "No, I meant… how I done something wrong… that you aren't interested in me… as a woman?"

That at least got Rodney's full attention. "No," he said firmly. "I'm just not interested."

She crossed her hands over her chest. That was a miserable excuse. She knew damn well he was interested from their friendly camaraderie – and their obvious attraction. And she told him so, which was a bad move. When confronted with the obviousness of his feelings, he was immediately on the defensive. He knew damn well he and Allina were a good match. They got on well, she was quite bright – and, more to the point, accepting of his vastly superior intellect, unlike some people, who tried to be his equal – she was helpful, and he couldn't look at her without wanting to take her to bed. But he had no intention of being in a romantic relationship with her – he had no intention of going down that road again. "OK, fine," he said. She wanted a confrontation, he would give her a confrontation. "I'm not interested in having you stab me in the back again."

She blanched when he put it so bluntly. She had honestly thought he was over her 'betrayal' – which she didn't see as a betrayal, just a choice between two evils, going against what she considered to be the core reason for the Brotherhood's existence, or hurting Rodney. For such a brilliant man, he sure was stupid when it came to matters of the heart. She considered telling him that, but decided it was an observation best left unsaid. "I did what I thought was best at the time!" she defended herself. "You're really holding a grudge over this, Rodney. Why can't you just get over it?"

"Because," he said coldly, his blue-grey eyes clouding over with memories of her betrayal, "it wasn't about the ZPM. It was about you _lying_ to me. You let me fall in love with you, and all the while you were planning to double-cross me. How the hell am I supposed to trust you? Look, what we have, this is nice, isn't it? Being friends?" he asked desperately, really hoping she wasn't going to push the issue. Dumbly, she nodded. "Then don't push it. Don't cling, don't make me resent you," he said bluntly. He _really_ hated the way she looked so dejected, but what was he supposed to do? Say everything would be alright just to make her happy? He was sure even Elizabeth wouldn't agree with that.

Thankgod, she left it at that, but she made her excuses to leave. He was glad to see her go. Normally he enjoyed her company, but if she was going to get heavy and clingy on him – well, he just wasn't up for that. He was fond of her and looking forward to being a father, but he didn't want to be with _her_. Well, he did, but that wasn't the point. He didn't know what exactly was the point, so he buried himself in his work.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What exactly happened?" Elizabeth said after the chaos from Rodney being brought back virtually comatose started to die down.

"Bloody McKay, always has to eat!" Aidan complained, his irritation at the brilliant scientist and his gluttony tempered by his concern for the man who had slipped into unconsciousness, occasionally interspersed by deluded babbling.

"What happened?" Elizabeth asked again, and patiently she extracted the story. Apparently the planet they had gone to specialised in what on earth would be close relatives of the marijuana-laced brownie, except from what Carson could deduct, what had been put in _those_ brownies was a cross between LSD and cocaine, a hallucinogen and a stimulant. From what Teyla could work out, it was used to inspire artists, much like absinth had, and it was a planet who's culture prided itself on the arts.

They had offered the brownies to the newcomers in good faith, assuming that they would have some idea of when they had had too much, in much the same way the members of the Atlantis expedition would assume someone knew when they had had too much to drink. But not Rodney McKay. He saw something that looked – and more importantly, _tasted_ – like chocolate brownies and ate as many as were available. Ate. And ate. And ate. In hindsight, John couldn't believe Rodney had gotten sick from the drugs in the brownies before he'd gotten sick from all that sugar.

Like alcohol, or most other drugs, too much of the drug in the brownies proved toxic for human – or close-to-human – physiology, and before anyone knew exactly what was going on, Rodney had very quickly become sick, feverish and throwing up in his body's desperate attempt to de-toxify, before becoming comatose. The elders of the village the team had visited were exceptionally contrite, but insisted that Rodney should have known not to eat to much. John was inclined to agree – he, Aidan and Teyla had abstained, as they tried not to indulge in the culinary delights of other planets entirely because something like this might happen – and made it clear to the elders that there would be no retribution from the armed-to-the-teeth newcomers. After all, it wasn't _their_ fault Rodney was a glutton.

They brought him back to Atlantis and he was taken to the infirmary where Carson attempted to save his life. His liver, the organ that filtered toxins from the body, was taking the worst of it, and the rest of his internal organs quickly followed suit. "Honestly, I'm surprised he isn't dead yet," Carson admitted. At this, Teyla sheepishly piped up that according to the elders, everyone in the past who had overdosed – consuming even half as much as Rodney had – had died after a few days of agony. That didn't bode well for Rodney, but at least he had all the medical technology Earth expertise could buy.

For a week he was virtually comatose, slipping between bouts of unconsciousness where he whimpered in constant pain, and deluded babblings where his whimperings became screams. He kept calling for Allina, and she refused to leave her side except when Elizabeth insisted that she shower. She even took her meals and slept in the infirmary.

The funny thing was – and the reason Elizabeth didn't insist too hard that Allina get some real sleep in her own quarters – was that she appeared to be quite a soothing presence on Rodney. He didn't seem to be in as much pain – or at least his whimperings and screams were more subdued – and his heart rate wasn't quite as erratic. At one point, he cried out for her, and she held one hand in his, and brought his other hand his other hand to her stomach. The result was the biggest hope Atlantis had been given yet that Rodney would pull through with no permanent damage.

Allina was surprisingly calm about the whole thing, showing people exactly _why_ she'd been the leader of the Brotherhood. While anyone who spoke to her could see she was nearly out of her mind with worry for him, she realised becoming hysterical would achieve nothing but have two seriously sick people for Carson to worry about. And that would be detrimental to Rodney's recovery.

"He's in a lot of pain," Carson admitted to Allina when she asked him, quite bluntly, for an assessment of his health. She was an intelligent woman, and sugar-coating the issue would do nothing but make her lose faith in him. "For what it's worth, you have quite a calming effect on him. You must mean a hell of a lot to him for him to be responding to you the way he is. If he ever pulls through this, he's not going to be able to deny that."

It was the 'if he ever' comment that troubled Allina. She didn't like to think about the possibility of Rodney _not_ pulling through. Their relationship was a troubled one, but it was far better then not having him around at all. _That_ thought sent a chill through Allina's heart. So she stayed by Rodney's side, offering what support she could.

After a week, to everyone's relief, he pulled through, waking up. At first, everyone was overjoyed – even the many people who had been very vocal about what an arrogant, abusive man Rodney could be. But, funnily enough, the most vocal of those people were the most troubled by the complete change in his personality. He was weak, too weak to pick fights with people. He was in too much genuine pain – as opposed to the mild hunger he liked to whinge about – to do anything but feel sorry for himself. And he didn't want to eat. That scared people more then anything else.

Allina didn't care. All that mattered to her was that Rodney was awake and he was going to be OK. Eventually. Carson warned he – and she – had at least a month of recovery to look forward to. That he had woken up only meant his body had managed to flush out enough toxins to operate again, and while this was a good thing, it meant that he was still a very sick man and it would take at least a month by Carson's calculations before he was healthy. That meant a month in bed, on as nutritious a diet as could be managed given the rations they had available to them.

Rodney didn't say much. He was pale and wan and had lost several kilograms while he was comatose. He was weak and in a lot of pain, and for the first time in his life, didn't feel like complaining. He just wanted to be left alone to sleep. He felt so tired, too tired to even feel embarrassed that, after a week in a coma, which was sleep 24/7, he should want to sleep some more.

He felt deeply embarrassed that he had to be wheeled to his room, but Carson would hear nothing of him walking there, and Allina backed him up. He went to say something about her having no say in his life, but since he had a very distinct memory of her staying with him – he'd always felt her presence, and it had always been welcome – he decided that would be out of line. He justified it by telling himself he was tired and sick and would put her in her place later.

In the mean time, he didn't have the heart to tell her to go away when it became obvious she intended to stay with him. He told himself it was because he didn't have the energy to fight with her. But he absolutely refused her presence was soothing. Not even when he asked her to sleep with him, in his bed, and not the mattress that had been laid out on the floor for her. "I'm used to having you close and I'm not in a state to try new things right now," he said gruffly, like his lame excuse was a perfectly reasoned medical explanation.

Allina thought Rodney's excuse was a lame one, but she didn't say anything. The last week had been a nightmare for her, but she _knew_ Rodney had needed her. She would give him a little time to admit that. She could wait, secure in the knowledge that Rodney needed her – and he had a pretty strong bond with their son, too. Instead, she settled into Rodney's arms for the first decent night's sleep she'd had since he'd taken ill.

Rodney was falling asleep despite the pain he was in, and as he relaxed, he found a sense of clarity. He had never been much of a deep-thinker, preferring to apply his brains to the more set rules of science rather then the mysteries of the human phsycie. But now his thought came to him – or, rather memories. Memories of Allina being by his side constantly, her presence soothing. His pain had always been less when Allina had been around, close to him, holding his hand, holding his hand against her stomach, reminding him of their son, that he had to be strong for both of them.

He had a vauge feeling that a two-timing bitch didn't show such devotion in such trying time.

"Lina," he murmured sleeping, not believing how tired he was. "Were you always there? While I was sick?"

He had never called her Lina before, and she liked it. "You're still sick," Allina reminded him, not planning on letting him forget it. Carson was worried that Rodney might push himself, he'd always missed a week when he could have been solving the problems of Atlantis, naturally he'd want to catch up. Not while Allina had anything to say about it. Rodney wasn't working again until he was 100. "But yes, I was."

"Thankyou," he murmured, and unconsciously, pulled her closer against him. he liked having her near her.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

"Go away. I'm not hungry."

"Carson says you have to eat. I'm not leaving until you finish your food."

Rodney was beginning to understand why Allina had been elevated to position of leader of the Brotherhood. She knew how to get things done – _insisted_ they be done. Like him eating, for starters. Carson had prescribed him a high-energy, high-carbohydrate diet so he'd regain his strength and weight. But for the first time in his life, Rodney had lost his appetite, and every mouthful of food was a chore. He just wanted to be left alone. "I'll eat later," he said.

He was lying, he had no intention of eating later, and Allina knew it. "Eat. Now. It's for your own good." Allina crossed her arms over her chest. "And the good of our baby," she added smugly. "You don't want him to have a sick father, do you?"

He glared at her. Bloody women, knew how to play the sentimental card. Dutifully, he began eating, muttering under his breath.

Allina didn't know what a tyrannical bitch was, but by the tone Rodney used, she took it to mean something endearing.

Over the next month, Allina watched Rodney like a hawk, making sure he followed Carson's diet and kept himself well rested. He did so without much complaint so long as she stayed with him and kept him company – something she wasn't exactly adverse to. They spent a lot of time together and grew very close. There were times she annoyed him to no end, the way she constantly nagged him to look after himself, but deep down, he loved that she was so attentive, that she cared so much. Several times, she had run interference between him and Kavanagh, who wanted the expertise of an extra scientist. No-one, but _no-one_ was going to push Rodney. And no-one dared take on Allina when she did her leader-of-the-Brotherhood thing. It was becoming very apparent _why_ she'd been elevated to leader of the secret organisation.

Rodney was touched Allina cared so much. Somewhere along the line, he had accepted that she had acted in good faith when she had taken the ZPM. It must have been a pretty crappy decision for her to have made. God knew he'd been forced to make some crappy decisions from time to time. Insisting Teal'c was a write-off when he'd been caught in the Stargate was one of her personal favourites. He wondered if _that_ had been why Colonel Carter had been so aloof towards him, unable to get past his initial error of judgement. Vaguely, he had an idea that he may have done the same thing to Allina that Carter had done to him. And the idea made him feel bad.

One day they were sitting up in bed together. She was sitting between his legs, with his hands caressing her ever-increasing belly. By now, the entire population of Atlantis was used to their intimate, if somewhat unorthodox relationship. A few carefully posed questions to both of them had established that they weren't _together_, per se, only acted like it, the way they were constantly together, talking, laughing and holding hands like the lovers they weren't.

Her smell was intoxicating. The feel of her fingers laced through his was distracting. He couldn't keep his eyes off the exposed skin of her neck… almost involuntarily, he bent his had down to kiss the nape of her neck.

She shivered. It had been so long since Rodney had touched her intimately, at least the way she wanted to be touched. At least since their kiss in the hall after he'd pulled her off the balcony, and then, there had been aggression and fear in his kiss, not sweetness. "What was that for?" she asked.

"Sorry," he mumbled, immediately on the defensive.

He went to withdrew his hands from hers, but she held them tight. He had kissed her, of his own volition, with no provocation. Damned if she was letting him slither out of that one. "I wanted you to," she admitted shyly, her voice far more placid then the near-iron grip she had his hands in. She was far stronger then she looked.

He relaxed his hands when he realised she wanted him to hold hers. And that she'd wanted him to kiss her. "Yeah?" he asked, almost as shyly.

She turned her head to face him. "Yes," she said in a quite voice.

Gently, he kissed her. It was like their first few kisses back on her home planet, tentative, gentle, becoming passionate and all-enveloping. "Lina…" he mumbled breathlessly between kisses. God, he'd been so stupid to let it go on this long. He was in heaven. He began to feel light-headed and dizzy as his heart began to race…

_His heart was racing!_ Reluctantly, he pulled away. "What's wrong?" Allina asked, wondering if once more she'd done something wrong.

Rodney smiled sheepishly. He dragged Allina's hand up over his heart so she could feel its beat. "My heart's not that strong yet, Becket says I have to take it easy," he admitted. He lowered his head. "I can't… be… then man you deserve… for a while." That was about the hardest thing he'd ever had to fess up to. Rodney McKay was not used to admitting to being inadequate, in any regard.

Allina kissed him on the forehead and settled back into his arms. "It's OK," she said. "You've been through a lot. You were very strong just to survive."

She always knew the right thing to say. He realised just how lucky he was to have her. He wondered if it was too soon to ask Jaca about their culture's equivalent to a marriage ceremony. Call him old fashioned, but he didn't want his son being born out of wedlock. Not to mention he wanted Allina for Allina's sake. But as she sighed happily and cuddled up against him, he forgot all about marriage ceremonies. All that mattered was that they were finally together.

**THE END**


End file.
